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Chad: Follow or Die
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11-30-2007, 02:15 AM
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Politics Explained
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need. BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need. FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk. PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk. RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you. DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you. PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk. REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk. BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows. PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you. LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons. 
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11-30-2007, 02:21 AM
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#2 (permalink) | |
 
Posts: 7,432
Age: 20
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 I hate 'literature'... I'd much rather read a good book. Click here for a Guide To BeastToast! Quote:
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11-30-2007, 02:26 AM
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#4 (permalink) | |
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Posts: 7,432
Age: 20
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I hate 'literature'... I'd much rather read a good book. Click here for a Guide To BeastToast! Quote:
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11-30-2007, 02:32 AM
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#6 (permalink) | |
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Posts: 7,432
Age: 20
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I hate 'literature'... I'd much rather read a good book. Click here for a Guide To BeastToast! Quote:
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11-30-2007, 04:37 AM
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#7 (permalink) |
Posts: 561
Age: 21
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man, this is simply the greatest post in a long time, had a good laugh... my 2 fav: CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you. DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
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“Reason obeys itself; Ignorance submits to what is dictated to it” – Thomas Paine "Drugs created the streets" - Ron Paul "Terrorism is a tactic, it’s not an enemy. You can’t have a war against a tactic" - Ron Paul "I wouldn't go to war again as I have done to protect some lousy investment of the bankers. There are only two things we should fight for. One is the defense of our homes and the other is the Bill of Rights. War for any other reason is simply a racket." - Smedley Butler |
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11-30-2007, 11:20 AM
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#9 (permalink) | |
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Quote:
From The Outrageous Funny Story Files... The World Religions. Theology in a Nutshell. Taoism: Shit Happens. Hare Krishna: Shit Happens Rama Rama Ding Ding. Hinduism: This Shit Happened Before. Islam: If Shit Happens, Take A Hostage. Zen: What Is The Sound Of Shit Happening? Buddhism: When Shit happens, is It Really Shit? Confucianism: Confucius Say, "Shit happens." 7th Day Adventist: Shit Happens on Saturdays. Protestantism: Shit Won't happen If I Work Harder. Catholicism: If Shit Happens, I Deserve It. Jehovah's Witness: Knock, Knock, "Shit Happens." Unitarian: What Is This Shit? Mormon: Shit Happens Again & Again & Again. Judaism: Why Does This Shit Always happen To Me? Rastafarianism: Let's Smoke This Shit. |
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11-30-2007, 11:28 AM
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#10 (permalink) |
Posts: 2,425
Age: 25
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And then I added: BeastToastism: You have two caws. You get flamed for mispelling your cows and for even having the idea of them.
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Believe the rumors, cuz they're probably all true. Married to dancesintherain, my strawberry jello Sierra's OFFICIAL Stalker! Ristaron is my archnemesis! STFU or someone might  your dead body |
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