How To Write Good - Page 2

**SeaStone** · 10-09-2007, 10:34 PM

Quote:

HOW TO WRITE GOOD

Here are several very important but often forgotten rules of English:

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat.)

4. Employ the vernacular.

5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

8. Contractions aren't necessary.

9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

10. One should never generalize.

11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

12. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.

13. Don't be redundant; don't more use words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

14. Profanity sucks.

15. Be more or less specific.

16. Understatement is always best.

17. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

20. The passive voice is to be avoided.

21. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

22. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

23. Who needs rhetorical questions?

24. While a transcendent vocabulary is laudable, one must nevertheless keep incessant surveillance against such loquacious, effusive, voluble verbosity that the calculated objective of communication becomes ensconced in obscurity.

25. In a sentence, the nouns has to match the verbs.

26. Don't use no double negatives.

27. In writing, few things are, so to speak, more infuriating, than, say, commas, at least when there are too many of them, or when they should be, say, semicolons.

28. Proofread your work, so you don't leave some out or forget to finish

29. Run-on sentences are really bad because the reader saturates and what you really should be doing is using commas and semicolons and even periods to break the sentence up into more digestible chunks.

30. To have been using excessively complex verb constructions, is to have been bopping the literary baloney.

31. A friend I spoken with recently told me he been forgetting his helper verbs.

Haha.

**SeaStone** · 10-09-2007, 11:59 PM

I don't have control of this section.

Just copy and paste, or quote it.

I'm going to do this tomorrow and hope I posted in a good Toast-traffic-time.

The three t's:Toast-Traffic-Time.

**Nøz** · 10-10-2007, 12:17 AM

Ok.
Do I laugh now or later?

**SeaStone** · 10-10-2007, 12:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Noz

Ok.
Do I laugh now or later?

Neither, but you can DIE now.

**Nøz** · 10-10-2007, 12:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SeaStone

Neither, but you can DIE now.

awww how cute.

Ramirez67 · 10-10-2007, 02:56 AM

lol yeah the first 2nd i saw the new thread i was like wth somebody doesnt know there english good then I realsized it must have been a j/k mocking good written english coz seastone hardly ever fucks her english up eh

haha love my 'bad english' post.

Stossel · 10-10-2007, 04:48 AM

We should start judging the noobs by this. If they go against too many rules...they're off.

**SARS-expl0ted** · 10-10-2007, 07:05 AM

This reminds me of Rist:
24. While a transcendent vocabulary is laudable, one must nevertheless keep incessant surveillance against such loquacious, effusive, voluble verbosity that the calculated objective of communication becomes ensconced in obscurity.

acutelyaware · 10-10-2007, 08:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by [ Jew Blaster ]

This reminds me of Rist:
24. While a transcendent vocabulary is laudable, one must nevertheless keep incessant surveillance against such loquacious, effusive, voluble verbosity that the calculated objective of communication becomes ensconced in obscurity.

haha. I think Seastone, Rist, and Sars should start a thread listing rules and guidelines for unexpecting noobs (like myself) to understand the BT standards before they get flamed and stereotyped as ignorant or apathetic. it's really only fair; no one knows how much the moderators and such value good grammar until they are hated on. That will only sned potentially good BT members away.

yossarian · 10-26-2007, 08:45 AM

LOL... Seastone's edge adds character to these forums; you're too funny!

Static · 10-26-2007, 04:05 PM

lol, I need a dictionary to read through some of that...