Knowing a break up is coming - Page 3

Germanboi · 07-29-2008, 03:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ginevra

My only questions is how did he go into "it is not your fault, and it is not my fault. It has nothing to do with you, and it is something that cannot be changed" without breaking up with you then? I mean, did he specify the it, or did he just say he wasnted to talk about it later.

I don't know about breaking up with him first, because you don't KNOW that's what's wrong. Maybe he just has a problem that the relationship can survive. But, you should go and ask him if he has anything he needs to say or talk about, if you're tired of being in suspense. Or tell him he's been acting differently, and ask why.

I am so glad as of right now things seem to be getting back to normal and this is the advice I took. Aphrodisiac mentioned in one of his replies, "Good luck and I hope everything works out for you whatever happens." Well he hasn't broken up with me, and i did get something out of him. He said he is failing at something, and it is making him depressed. It is something that bothers him so much that he thinks he is not worth things sometimes...like for instance, I was making some sandwhitches* for myself and asked him if he wanted one...he said he wasn't good enough for one...and once he said he did not deserve to sleep!?! I do not know what it was/is...could be because he has been trying to stop using poppers (amyl nitrite*) and because he has an addictive personality he is not doing the absolute best at it. I love the fact that he is at least trying and making a little bit of head way, instead of saying he is quiting and lying to me like he had in the past and continued to do it.

Tho I do not know if this is what it is. He seems to think his grandmother is upset with him (he is Ojibwe, and his beliefs include one's spirit never leaving their loved ones) so I do not know. He has not had one of his depressed episodes in a few days...at least not while I have been in the vicinity where I could feel his depression. Soooooo I guess we will see. I hope he has figured it out because I hate seeing/feeling his hurt over something...especially since I do not even know completely what it is.

BTW thank you guys for giving advice and listening...I know it is only a net forum, but it means a lot to me!

**Opunaya** · 07-29-2008, 05:57 AM

Wow, it sounds like he needs you now more than ever. Just be patient with him, I know how that whole "Failing at everything" thing feels.

**SARS-expl0ted** · 07-29-2008, 06:44 AM

All you can do is be there for him.
If you ask him what is wrong and he doesn't feel like answering, don't force it on him. He will come to you when he feels the time is right. Sometimes it takes people a while to finally figure out what it is, exactly, that is bothering them and making them feel the way they are.

Try to be happy and give him lots of compliments and try to do what you can to make him feel better, smile and be happy when he is around you.

**Brother of Yeshua** · 07-29-2008, 10:59 AM

It sounds like he may be using attention seeking behavior. Make sure you are not pitying him, but definitely reassure him that you do care about him and are there if he needs someone. These behaviors, as you said, could have something to do with kicking the habit. Find fun things to do together out and about to keep him engaged in the present moment, not wallowing in self pity.

I'm glad to know that lines of communication are opening. Stay patient and know that your commitment will help him.

4n7hr4x · 07-31-2008, 09:53 AM

The way I know a break up is coming is if I've been with someone for a month. Or I know something horrible is about to happen to me if I'm having a good day or if I'm happy in general.

Its a very reliable system for me and its very consistent.

LoydLHumphreys · 08-15-2008, 09:27 AM

why dont you ask him to take a look at this thread??
may be he will be able to feel your feelings by reading this thread