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Chad: Follow or Die
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10-14-2007, 12:32 PM
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New girl, new country
So, as many of you (I think) know, I'm in Japan for the semester. Now, for the past month, I've been going to clubs and bars and what-have-you and have gotten a few lays, not really looking for anything. I met this chick last week, though (Aya) and we've spet pretty much every night for the past 5 nights together from about 8 PM to (at latest) 2 PM the next day talking, talking talking. I really, really like this girl, and I think it's pretty obvious that she likes me, but there's one thing that's really getting in the way of me making a serious move, and its that she's told me her past three boyfriends (one of whom she was with for 10 years) were really very abusive, and she doesn't really... I don't want to say trust (and she used similar words in Japanese referring to her Japanese boyfriends (she hasn't dated any foreigners)) but something along those lines most of the men that she's with. So this, because I really like her quite a bit and it seems to be reciprocated, makes me kind of wary of acting immediately, so as not to push/force/etc. her back into a situation she's been uncomfortable in in the past.
And, by the way (I really hope none of you guys who "know" me through the toast thought this in the first place), I've never even thought of or have cheated on/hit/been abusive to anyone I've been with (basically, relationships are good because they are caring and reciprocal, in my (and I hope to fucking god everyone else's) opinion), so my main worry is that she, even though she likes me and I'm really quite smitten with her, sees me as a guy, and her past experience with guys has been that they've all been been violent towards her. Granted, I've got my own ideas, and I don' think I'll wait much longer, but any input/suggestions/ideas/thoughts would be very much appreciated. Last edited by tyrannosaurusjr; 10-14-2007 at 12:36 PM. 
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10-14-2007, 12:53 PM
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#2 (permalink) |
 
Posts: 3,645
Age: 21
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That being said, taking it slow with her is definitely a good idea. You're going to have to show her that she can trust you and that you are a compassionate and caring person. Since she's obviously got her guard up, you're going to have to give her some extra time. I think that as long as she knows your feelings towards her and you're up front with her, things should go well.
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10-14-2007, 01:03 PM
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#3 (permalink) |
Posts: 534
Age: 20
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"And apparently, judging from her outfit, Jan aspires to be a whore."
--- Angela (The Office) "I want to marry the hotel and have little, gambling, alcohol addicted kids with it." --- Ryan (The OC) |
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