My ideas on relationships.

NachtEngel · #1 (**permalink**) 01-10-2008, 05:20 PM

Alright, so I see all these people with relationship issues and decided to make a topic on what I have learned in life from them so maybe it can help someone. After a while I realize I should look at each one as a lesson and not dwell on them. I will begin by talking about one of the two relationship I had that were good. It was with a girl named Stephanie and we dated for three years. This is the one person I can honestly say without doubt that I was in love with. The most important thing I learned with her is how important communication is in any relationship. If you can't be open and honest about your thoughts and feelings then everything is doomed to fail. If something bothers you then talk about it. I also learned that you can't expect everything to get better just simply by talking about it. Talking about it does not mean the other person will be alright with what you are trying to tell them. You need to work on a type of agreement. Find something you can both agree on to make things better for the relationship. You may both have to make some small sacrifices but it goes both ways. You cannot expect to have every little thing go your way. Try not to be overly demanding. Evaluate why the other person feels the way they do. If you really care about them then you will want to make them happy and they will feel the same way about you. Sometimes you may find someone that is not good at communicating and there could be a reason for it. I often find that problem is because of how a person was raised. Talk to them about it and find out why. Work on getting them to communicate better. Explain why it is so important.

Now I will talk about what I learned from Brandy my sons mother. I learned from her that you should always look at a persons lifestyle and not get into a relationship thinking you can change a person. Also, it is probably not smart to go for the girl that says she will sleep with you the first time you talked to her. That is normally a sign that she is easy and can also mean that she sleeps around. I learned that cheaters are just that and will continue to cheat and hurt you. You cannot stop them and they will continue to hurt you all the time. If you ever find out someone cheats on you then it is best to get away them no matter how much it hurts. You also should be careful before giving your heart to a person and when they tell you how they have treated other men listen and don't think that you will be any different. Never get engaged to a person that you have only been with for a short time and make sure they are somewhat mentally and emotionally stable. Another thing that you should never do is get seriously involved with someone you just met. get to know them a little first and maybe go on a few casual dates. The best relationships can often start out as friendships.

Now for Tabetha, she is the second relationship I had that was good. I learned from her that looks mean very little when it comes to relationships. I wouldn't say I am picky but she was physically not very attractive at all. I know that sounds mean but I'm just being honest in hopes it might help someone. Shes lived with me for three months and was an absolutely amazing person. After I thought there were no more nice girls out there besides Stephanie she changed that. She made me realize that you need to find a person you care about for who they are. I also learned to try and find people that are more like minded and are at least somewhat smart. I had dated quite a few stupid girls before her.

Last I will talk about what I learned from Kelley. I learned from her that you should never give your heart completely to someone that you have never met. I also learned to be much more careful before getting involved with someone you consider a close friend. Before you get involved with a person evaluate how things will change if you get into a relationship. Things may never be the same and while in a relationship they will be much different. Find out what the other persons views are on relationships and how they have acted while involved with people. Figure out what things you will not be alright with that they do if you get into a relationship. If you look close enough you can probably picture what the relationship will be like and if it is going to turn into fighting and pain. I learned that sometimes it's best to stay friends because getting involved without carefully thinking it through can mean losing a best friend forever.

I skipped a few of my relationships because I don't want this to be too long. I hope this helps someone.

Keena · 01-10-2008, 05:28 PM

yea, that does help actually. thx