Madly in Love

w8_4_the_moonrise · #1 (**permalink**) 10-23-2007, 08:21 PM

I am madly in love with my boyfriend. We've been together for nearly a year and a half and we are perfect for each other. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. The problem, because there is always a problem, is that his last girlfriend treated him really badly, she acted like he was crap, she cheated on him and got pregnant and then on top of that tried to get back together with him so that he can raise her son. That was just after we started dating. He assured me that he loves me and he'll never go back to her, but I'm still jealous i guess, she keeps creeping into our lives. Showing up when he gets off the train from school, messaging him and generally showing an interest in getting back together with him. How to I tell her to back off without killing her or offending her more then necessary?

yossarian · 10-23-2007, 10:53 PM

Jealousy isnt always a bad thing. now im speaking for myself here, and anyone can feel free to step in and shatter my pearl of wisdom before it sinks in... but i honestly find it kinda sexy and feel it builds a better connection with each other (the key word we're looking for is "trust"). but there's a catch. it's how you handle your jealousy. You can be the psycho, raging hormone bitch-demon from hell and forbid him to see her... and interrogate his every step, phrase, and action.... bad idea. or you can control yourself and be cute about it (this is the obvious better way to handle it). like throwing in subtle comments on how u are prettier than her, how she has veracious veins, and how her GED will land her a job as a night manager at Mcdonalds... and she will be very successful one day. do you catch my drift here? good luck!

**Opunaya** · 10-24-2007, 05:01 AM

Yeah, being territorial isn't really that bad...unless you become psychotic about it. But, I know how you feel when someone you care about alot is constantly hanging around with their ex. It makes you wonder, doesn't it?

w8_4_the_moonrise · 10-24-2007, 06:23 AM

oh goods i feel like i'm doing something right. I've been as calm and cutesy as I can. I won't tell him not to see her anymore thats not cool I'm not his mom he can decide if he wants to keep her as a friend. And I trust him to the end of the earth. I do NOT trust her, my lovey is a very caring person and i know if she asks for help he'll give it to her. He has standards but i still worry... cann't help it i'm a girl like that.

10-28-2007, 12:30 PM

I think you're in the right to feel jealous, or territorial. She definatley needs to back off, I think you need to be blunt with her. Although I don't know if she would listen to you without force, lol. I think you should trust that your boyfriend will do the right thing, Good luck

maggiesxrevenge · 10-28-2007, 07:42 PM

there isn't really a way without being blunt. Just say listen i don't want this to turn ugly, he is my boyfriend now and you need to back off.

eDgE oF iNsAnItY · 10-28-2007, 07:55 PM

OK, so he doesn't tell her to leave him alone? If she did all that shit to him, what would possibly make him want to continue to see her? Is anyone really that caring and forgiving? Now if she's like stalking him, there's nothing he can really do, short of getting a restraining order. But, if their meetings are consentual, then I would question why he's wanting to see her. It's common knowledge that your partner is going to be uncomfortable with you seeing your ex. So, if exes don't have a kid together, and they haven't been friends the entire time after the breakup, there is no reason for them to see each other. You said she did all that shit and then after you guys got together, she tried to get him back. I would think that if she did all this bogus shit and then got with you, unless he still has feelings for her, that he would be completely done with her. Not trying to make you worry, but it is what would be going on in my head.

Well.... GOOD LUCK!!!

dancesintherain · 10-28-2007, 08:41 PM

Well I have had some troubles with Brian's ex-wife similar to what you are going through. I tried dropping subtle hints to her that she needs to back off and let him live his life. But she was too dense to get them. So yesterday I went to pick up Little B and I flat out told her that Brian and I are happy together and he needed to back off! I haven't had a problem yet.

eDgE oF iNsAnItY · 10-28-2007, 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dancesintherain

Well I have had some troubles with Brian's ex-wife similar to what you are going through. I tried dropping subtle hints to her that she needs to back off and let him live his life. But she was too dense to get them. So yesterday I went to pick up Little B and I flat out told her that Brian and I are happy together and he needed to back off! I haven't had a problem yet.

Well, they have a kid together. She is going to ALWAYS be in his life... and your life if you stay with him. Now, I don't know exactly what she's doing that irks you, but she definitely will ALWAYS be in his life. Since they have a child together, they NEED to talk and be civil with each other, for the kid's sake.

You said you haven't had a problem yet... IT'S ONLY BEEN A DAY! LoL!!!

maggiesxrevenge · 11-03-2007, 09:15 PM

the kid facter does really make a difference because you can't just want her out of your lives completely you have to understand about the kid and how wierd it would be if he never saw his actually mom again.