Lack of Multiple Relationships

**Ginevra** · #1 (**permalink**) 11-20-2007, 09:19 AM

This is kind of branching off of comments to Leslie's Marriage thread, specifically this one by Edge:

Quote:

You say that you guys have been together for 7 years... since highschool. You haven't experienced anything other than each other (I'm guessing). This is why most people look down on young marriage. You haven't been able to experience what's out there. And after so long, lots of people get curious about "what else is out there". I don't know if this has anything to do with your problem or not, but I'm just throwing it out there. Not really helpful, I know, and probably not what you want to hear, but there it is.

I find a catch 22 in that which I am also facing. Yeah, sometimes I wonder about what the single life would be like or back to meeting someone new, and if I stick with the one I'm with through marriage, that would be me, we got together end of my junior and his senior year, first serious relationship, first kiss. But it's not like I can just go try stuff out and come back to him if I feel like it. I know I've got something good, but it's a little earlier than would follow the advice of not marrying young or never experiencing more than one person.

I've pretty much just decided to curb those thoughts and am happy, I know that there's no one I've met I want more than him. But I thought I'd put it out there to get thoughts from others.

w8_4_the_moonrise · 11-20-2007, 09:32 AM

I know what you mean. I've had a three boyfriends before mine but none of those relationships were serious, and I view my only serious one as the one I'm in now. I know I want to marry him and I feel like I will never have anyone love me like he does, he's my best friend, but I sometimes wonder what I'll miss by only being with him for the rest of my life. I try to look at the relationships that my friends have and try to relate to their breakups and stories but I've never broken up with anyone and I'll never have to...

I guess I'm missing a healthy dose of sorrow, when I think things like that I'm happy.

**Opunaya** · 11-20-2007, 09:37 AM

I have no problem to commitment...the thought of being in few relationships, or even just one doesn't bother me...nor does the thought of marriage....the only problem I have is getting someone to commit to me.

**Ginevra** · 11-20-2007, 09:43 AM

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Originally Posted by w8_4_the_moonrise

XD!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Opunaya

I have no problem to commitment...the thought of being in few relationships, or even just one doesn't bother me...nor does the thought of marriage....the only problem I have is getting someone to commit to me.

I really don't find it a big problem, I just kind of wanted to see what those who say that would say to my situation. And I bet you'll find one, even if it doesn't feel like it. I never thought I'd have a boyfriend, I used to kid that I'd be the crazy old lady with a houseful of cats (not that I thought it was all that funny). And here I am. I still can't believe it, every once and awhile I just have to stare at him and remind myself that I actually have him. xX;

**Opunaya** · 11-20-2007, 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ginevra

I really don't find it a big problem, I just kind of wanted to see what those who say that would say to my situation. And I bet you'll find one, even if it doesn't feel like it. I never thought I'd have a boyfriend, I used to kid that I'd be the crazy old lady with a houseful of cats (not that I thought it was all that funny). And here I am. I still can't believe it, every once and awhile I just have to stare at him and remind myself that I actually have him. xX;

Well, true, but it doesn't help my case when people think I'm a rapist...ask Kelley about that story ;-;

Estefanina · 11-20-2007, 03:49 PM

Congratulations on finding your one and only, this was my experience:

First real boyfriend: 5 year relationship, I was 16 when we got together.

At the five year mark, we (unmarried) evaluated our relationship and decided that though we loved eachother and could see being with eachother until the end of our days, we wanted to see what else was out there.

Coming up on three years since that conversation, we are both in relationships we like better than the relationship we had with eachother (he's married, and I'm also deliciously monogamous) and still communicate about once every other month.

My only advice: If the thoughts are not so easy to push to the back of your mind for whatever reason, talk to your man about it. Fun happenings have come from such discussions

11-20-2007, 07:48 PM

A man's soul is never satisfied.

I think someone wrote that somewhere and sometime. It makes sense.
We'll always crave the unknown. It's one of the curses of not knowing.

Cheers mates.

**Ginevra** · 11-26-2007, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Estefanina

My only advice: If the thoughts are not so easy to push to the back of your mind for whatever reason, talk to your man about it. Fun happenings have come from such discussions

Wow, and I really don't think about it very often, it was mainly requesting an answer from those who say you shouldn't get married young or marry your first boyfriend or whatever.