I need someone's input on this...please.

#1 (**permalink**) 01-14-2008, 06:47 PM

Alright so.

This about me and a guy, hence relationships. We have been talking for two years, three years this August. And we have said we love each other, actually meaning it for those two years. We wanted to marry each other, he asked me I don't know how many times....and we just had that connection. We could feel each other when one of us was crying, just really angry or something was wrong. We had a huge connection that couldn't really be explained, but we lived far away. And I think that might be the reason for the large connection.

Anyway. He came to my birthday just to be with me..hold me etc. And we just had that love contact. We knew we loved each other physically now, not just mentally. The next step for us to take would be to actually make it so that we could be together.

It was my first year in college, and I had already thought about moving to a different state but I decided to move to where he is in order to 1. be out of the state I was born in and 2. have a larger chance of being with him. But before I did that...I wanted to hang out with my friends instead of talking to him 24/7. Saying that we would see each other when I got there etc. He hated it and started to talk to this girl.

He ended up having a relationship type thing similar to ours...and I think it was because he wasn't used to not having me the way we were anymore. I was there...and if we kept at it the same way the only way we could get any farther would be an engagement. We are too young.

ANYWAY, so...here is my issue. All of this happens, I know he loves me/loved me because of everything that happened. I broke up with him too...but we were still best friends. He just kept pushing me aside and I just hated it because I knew why. wow..I'm going off what I wanted to be on.

I left to go back home for christmas and we had a lovey bye for the month and that he would miss me. Then he wrecked my car and he called me to say that he loved me and that he was sorry, and basically cried because he did it. He felt so horrible. But he is going to pay for the damage.

Later, because we got so angry at each other...I called him ungrateful because of all the stuff he put on me. The ignoring me etc. He needed his space, but he was just giving me shit for it.

Soo....now I'm back to the state of my college and he is saying that he wants nothing to do with me anymore. I can understand a bit because of all the stuff going on, which I was trying so hard not to go so far into it....but on Saturday he acted like he still cared, he does it all the time. It's so confusing.

He looked at me with concern and asked me if I was alright FOUR times in the few hours that I was hanging out with him. He let me lean his head on his shoulder...he even looked at me (the way only friends do) when his girlfriend was talking nonstop in his ear.

I just want to be his friend...that's it. I don't want to be anything more anymore, but he says he doesn't...and then the next second acts like he IS my friend. I DONT UNDERSTAND IT! He tells me that he doesn't remember a thing about his actually being a friend to me or that I was looking too deeply into it....but then he does things like that.

He cares about my dreams. He talked to me for an hour, which apparently he forgot. The whole Saturday...it's like what the hell.

I want to know what you guys think of this. I know what I should do and all that...but I'm the type of person that needs to know what's happening. And if you wish to give me advice than be my guest.. Please ..just tell me what you think on this.

**SARS-expl0ted** · 01-14-2008, 06:55 PM

Your entire situation is kind of confusing and hard to understand for me.
He is saying that you guys are not friends or that you guys never dated?

01-14-2008, 07:18 PM

It is really confusing isn't it?

He's saying that he wants to stop being friends with me. But instead of acting like he doesn't want to be my friend, he lets me lean my head on his shoulder just be right next to him, put my hand on his thigh (which he could easily just look at me and tell me to back off or something). And he also let me listen to a conversation he was having for a little bit, and looked at me in the friend way with "She's talking too much" with a smirk kind of thing.

He asked me about four times that day if I was alright with concern in his eyes.

But he's telling me that he doesn't want to be my friend and then the next moment or few days..he's acting like I am his friend.

**SARS-expl0ted** · 01-14-2008, 07:20 PM

I wouldn't worry about it then and just leave him alone. Apparently he is too immature to have to deal with anyway and he obviously isn't a true 'friend.'

01-14-2008, 07:24 PM

Even though that was just one sentence long...for some reason it helped me more than what some others say even though they say the exact same thing.

Thanks...that was weird that just hearing that he's immature and not a true friend helped me. Thank you.

NachtEngel · 01-14-2008, 07:24 PM

It sounds like he does not even know what he wants.

**SARS-expl0ted** · 01-14-2008, 07:30 PM

Either way, if he knows what he wants or doesn't he is being kind of selfish in leading her to think one thing and then telling her something else.

Also, have you ever thought that maybe it is his new chick telling him that she doesn't want him to be friends with you?
Does he act weird around her and not when it is just you two?

01-14-2008, 07:47 PM

His girlfriend would never ask him to leave a friend, and plus the one time we did hang out he acted completely the same towards me. but the girl that he's talking to online....I don't know if she tells him to stop talking to me or not.

He acts different randomly. I know he doesn't know what he wants, but I'm just wondering ....about our friendship.

Blah.

**SARS-expl0ted** · 01-14-2008, 07:49 PM

Well it isn't a true friendship, at all.

I am very skeptical about 'friends' though. I only have one really good one and that is it. I hang out with some other people but that is only if they come over to my house to hang out with Jay or Daniel. I don't trust them with anything at all and I don't take any of my time to spend it on them at all.
Too many people have fucked me over in the past and even if I try to make a new friend, it always seems to back fire so I gave up.

NachtEngel · 01-14-2008, 07:50 PM

He has a girlfriend but hes talking to a girl online? As in talking to her as more than friends? Well, I would hope if some girl he talks to online says not to talk to you than he wouldn't listen. That would just be stupid.