I have a problem... - Page 3

icadragoon · 02-24-2008, 06:55 AM

I'm pregnant and the father of the baby broke up with me because I wouldn't abort it. So now I'm going to be a single mom. My ex boyfriend is all for being the father of the baby but I'm not sure if my feelings for him are hormones or if it's the real thing. So we both agreed that we are going to wait till after the baby is born. My delama is that I'm not sure if I'm going to give the baby the fathers last name or mine. I've talked to his parents and they don't believe that I am pregnant so they want me to send them papers. His mother is a lot nicer to me then she was before which is helping and I let the father and his parents know how appointments go and everything. Near the end of the relationship a girl I was friends with was trying to break us up and called me every name in the book when she found out that I was pregnant and was keeping it. He seemed to care more about her feelings then mine. I really did love him which makes this very hard for me, but I'm in no way afraid to be a mother. I want him to be in his child's life but so far he's not showing me he's going to be there. When I have the baby he will be at school so he probably wont be there for the birth. I don't want to piss off his parents by giving the baby my last name but to be honest he has hurt me so bad that I don't care about his feelings. I just don't want my child to grow up with a complicated life.

**Opunaya** · 03-07-2008, 04:09 PM

That's all you can do right now. And we'll be here for your emotional support!

Animal-Mother · 03-08-2008, 11:06 AM

Just dont give you child a false life. Whatever happens to you allways tell him the truth and dont try to build a false world for him.

icadragoon · 03-08-2008, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Animal-Mother

Just dont give you child a false life. Whatever happens to you allways tell him the truth and dont try to build a false world for him.

I would never do that, my mom always told us the truth when we were growing up and I love her more for it. I do know that every age you have to explain things in a different way do they understand but I plan to be truthful all the way. Accept for the Santa and easter bunny stuff, that never hurt anyone.

everyone's favo · 03-08-2008, 12:55 PM

I hate to sound like a broken record, but you really are doing the right thing for yourself. Fuck that guy - he's a prick for leaving you and he isn't worth your time. You have plenty of emotional support everywhere else, so you should be fine.

The only major question I have is how will you support the child financially? Do you have a set plan or are you just taking it by the day?

**Opunaya** · 03-08-2008, 01:25 PM

Child support should help somewhat, and I've assumed she's still living with her parents...

**SeaStone** · 03-08-2008, 06:07 PM

Perhaps you could give the child both names.

The child is still his, despite him being a douche.

However, don't give the child just his name. You're raising the child so the child should have your name.

When you get married to someone who's undouche-like then you can give the child the new daddy's name.

**Opunaya** · 03-08-2008, 10:38 PM

When you give someone your last name, you've giving them a part of yourself--and I'm not just talking about the genetic material he provided--but part of your soul, your heart, your life. He's not doing any of those things, so he doesn't deserve the kid carrying his last name around like a banner.

**SeaStone** · 03-09-2008, 04:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Opunaya

When you give someone your last name, you've giving them a part of yourself--and I'm not just talking about the genetic material he provided--but part of your soul, your heart, your life. He's not doing any of those things, so he doesn't deserve the kid carrying his last name around like a banner.

I agree with this. But the baby is still his flesh and blood, and the grandparents are the baby's flesh and blood too.

I would definitely have her name on the child, but if the grandparents are willing to be apart of the child's life, then maybe both names would be good.

When a child holds your name I think you're more inclined to give love.

everyone's favo · 03-09-2008, 05:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Opunaya

Child support should help somewhat, and I've assumed she's still living with her parents...

I figured this much, but does she have a job as well? What about plans for college and other future endeavors?

**Opunaya** · 03-09-2008, 07:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SeaStone

I agree with this. But the baby is still his flesh and blood, and the grandparents are the baby's flesh and blood too.

I would definitely have her name on the child, but if the grandparents are willing to be apart of the child's life, then maybe both names would be good.

When a child holds your name I think you're more inclined to give love.

I don't think the grandparents should be added in to that equation. She should only give the last name if the father's willing to be there...