I have a problem...

icadragoon · #1 (**permalink**) 02-24-2008, 05:55 AM

I'm pregnant and the father of the baby broke up with me because I wouldn't abort it. So now I'm going to be a single mom. My ex boyfriend is all for being the father of the baby but I'm not sure if my feelings for him are hormones or if it's the real thing. So we both agreed that we are going to wait till after the baby is born. My delama is that I'm not sure if I'm going to give the baby the fathers last name or mine. I've talked to his parents and they don't believe that I am pregnant so they want me to send them papers. His mother is a lot nicer to me then she was before which is helping and I let the father and his parents know how appointments go and everything. Near the end of the relationship a girl I was friends with was trying to break us up and called me every name in the book when she found out that I was pregnant and was keeping it. He seemed to care more about her feelings then mine. I really did love him which makes this very hard for me, but I'm in no way afraid to be a mother. I want him to be in his child's life but so far he's not showing me he's going to be there. When I have the baby he will be at school so he probably wont be there for the birth. I don't want to piss off his parents by giving the baby my last name but to be honest he has hurt me so bad that I don't care about his feelings. I just don't want my child to grow up with a complicated life.

**Opunaya** · 02-24-2008, 06:07 AM

Life is complicated regardless, sweetie. I say don't give the kid the father's last name, but get his ass for child support. Also, what do your parents have to say?

icadragoon · 02-24-2008, 06:13 AM

My mom is so excited to be a grandmother and shes being really supportive, the rest of my family is too. My mom and dad are divorced but my dad didn't seem upset, and I expected him to be when I told him. He's hoping the baby's a boy so he can take it fishing but I just hope it's healthy.

**Opunaya** · 02-24-2008, 06:22 AM

That's very good. You don't know how lucky you are to have such a supportive family...as long as they're on your side, you're going to be just fine.

If the father doesn't want to be in the kid's life, there's nothing you can do really, you can't force him in there--side from the child support I mentioned earlier, but you said you have an ex that wants to be there for you? How do you feel about that guy?

icadragoon · 02-24-2008, 06:37 AM

He's great, Ive never had a fight with him. The only reason we broke up is I went away to school and he had a hard time letting go. I never told him to back off though I just broke it off with him cause I couldn't handle the stress of that and school. So I met the baby's father while I was away at school and quite frankly I wish it was my ex's. At least he would man up to his responsibilities. I'm defiantly going to get child support from him though. I know how lucky I am with support cause my mom didn't have any when she had me and my sister. I grew up without a dad so thats why I'm so worried about the baby having a father. I know my ex would be perfect but I don't want to go back with him just because of that.

butterfingered · 02-24-2008, 06:53 AM

Sounds like you are better off without this guy. It hurts. But it's better that you find out now instead of later on down the road. I'd say give the baby your last name. Who cares if his parents get mad. You don't have to worry about them. All you have to worry about now is yourself and the baby. You are lucky to have a supportive family.... a lot of people don't. So that's a good start. It's gonna be hard. But you're gonna be just fine! Good luck! And congrats! =)

icadragoon · 02-24-2008, 07:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by butterfingered

Sounds like you are better off without this guy. It hurts. But it's better that you find out now instead of later on down the road. I'd say give the baby your last name. Who cares if his parents get mad. You don't have to worry about them. All you have to worry about now is yourself and the baby. You are lucky to have a supportive family.... a lot of people don't. So that's a good start. It's gonna be hard. But you're gonna be just fine! Good luck! And congrats! =)

I know me and him will never get back together, and I told him I would never get into a relationship with him again. Him telling me that if I didn't get an abortion he'd brake up with me, made me loose my spark for him. It's mainly the closeness that I miss, the cuddling and such. But I'm not about to go with someone just because I want a good cuddle.

butterfingered · 02-24-2008, 07:16 AM

Sounds like you're doing the right thing. A woman (or anyone for that matter) should never be forced into doing something they don't want to do. I'm glad to hear that you stuck to your guns.... because a lot of girls just don't have the courage and will do anything to prevent their boyfriend from leaving them. You seem like a strong, level-headed person and you do not need a man to make you happy. I know what you mean about cuddling.... it sucks not having someone..... but sooner or later the right guy will come along who DOES love and support you! Until then.... maybe get a puppy? lol =p

icadragoon · 02-24-2008, 07:20 AM

Ha, I have two dogs actually and they do help out when it comes to stress. One of them I call my dirty old man cause he likes to watch me get dressed. He's also the one thats the best listener so I can tell him anything and he'll look me in the face the whole time. I think they knew I was pregnant before I did because they where all over me the first month. They still are, and thankfully they are two little dogs so it's not all that bad. It just hurts when they decide to pounce on me.

**Opunaya** · 02-24-2008, 07:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icadragoon

He's great, Ive never had a fight with him. The only reason we broke up is I went away to school and he had a hard time letting go. I never told him to back off though I just broke it off with him cause I couldn't handle the stress of that and school. So I met the baby's father while I was away at school and quite frankly I wish it was my ex's. At least he would man up to his responsibilities. I'm defiantly going to get child support from him though. I know how lucky I am with support cause my mom didn't have any when she had me and my sister. I grew up without a dad so thats why I'm so worried about the baby having a father. I know my ex would be perfect but I don't want to go back with him just because of that.

You don't still care for him?