Humans, sex, relationships, love, and emotion?

NachtEngel · #1 (**permalink**) 11-29-2007, 09:27 AM

I was doing some thinking about people and a few questions came up that I really can't find a good answer to. For one why is sex so important to so many people? It is necessary for reproduction; however, other than that it is just a pleasurable experience that is not very important or necessary. Even though it is not that important when you look at the picture of a individuals life it is also something that can somehow cause people to be depressed. I have on many occasions heard people that never get any complain like it is one of the most horrible things. They will even go as far as making it sound like they think life is terrible and cruel to them. I do not understand how something of such little importance can have such a strong impact on a person in a very negative way. There are so many other things out there that can be done for entertainment. Why is it the sex is so important to some?

Love and relationships are another thing that I have some questions about. Love is different to every person because no one really has the same idea of what it is. The idea and feeling of love also seems to work differently with everyone. Some people seem to think they need someone, some never understand how to have a strong emotion for someone, some people don't even have a interest in the idea of love, and others can live without someone but would like to be with a person that they feel they love. Why is it that this emotion can be so powerful sometimes? It is very possible to get through life without anyone. Knowing this, how can it be possible for someone to let a person have so much power over their emotion and mental well being. Some people go as far as harming or killing themselves or others for this emotion. What is it about this that causes people to get in a state of mind that they would do any of those things? How can anyone come to have so much power over someone and why do people let them? Is it really worth it to let someone have such a hold on you? Do people not value their own well being enough to be strong and come to the realization that in the end being with someone is not that important. What is important is how you used the time you had. Somehow people manage to wast so much time on this earth worrying about things that are actual very small but for some reason seem to have a huge impact on many people.

Thoughts?

Kristyn · 11-29-2007, 09:37 AM

are you saying that love is unimportant?

NachtEngel · 11-29-2007, 09:40 AM

Not unimportant, but not important enough to harm yourself or others mentally or emotionally over.

w8_4_the_moonrise · 11-29-2007, 09:47 AM

I don't know why sex is so important to people (I think its kind of overrated, pleasurable, yes, but I get a similar amount of pleasure just hanging out and laughing with my boy)

My thoughts on why people are so dependent on love or even just having someone in their life derives from the need to wanted, people depend on their parents all their life and are in need of that when they grow older, they need a person to rely on so they feel needed and losing that relationship is harsh because they feel as if they can never get that pseudo love again.

Kristyn · 11-29-2007, 09:50 AM

Ok. So the sex part. To me, sex isn't just something that's pleasurable. Like, the fact that it feels good isn't the only reason it's important to me. It's like a deeper connection with the one I love. It's not just sex, in general, that's great. Like, if I didn't have my boyfriend I wouldn't go around trying to get laid all the time because sex is so great and important for me to have a great life. It's the person I'm making love with that matters. It's really a beautiful thing, I can't really explain it. And the love part, I'm not really sure it can be explained, either. I don't know if you've ever been in love. I'm in love, I'm deeply in love, and if anything ever happened to my boyfriend I don't think I'd intentionally hurt myself, or kill myself, but I definately feel like the rest of my life spent without him would be a lot harder, like this sence of emptiness would just overcome me....and I can't really explain why. He's my other half. I would feel incomplete.

NachtEngel · 11-29-2007, 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by w8_4_the_moonrise

I don't know why sex is so important to people (I think its kind of overrated, pleasurable, yes, but I get a similar amount of pleasure just hanging out and laughing with my boy)

My thoughts on why people are so dependent on love or even just having someone in their life derives from the need to wanted, people depend on their parents all their life and are in need of that when they grow older, they need a person to rely on so they feel needed and losing that relationship is harsh because they feel as if they can never get that pseudo love again.

Interesting, that sounds like a very possible reason. That may somewhat explain why someone would stay in a abusive relationship. They are just to dependent and feel they cannot get that "love" again. They are afraid of losing the feeling of being needed even if that person is causing harm to them.

whitney_03 · 11-29-2007, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NachtEngel

Not unimportant, but not important enough to harm yourself or others mentally or emotionally over.

I think good, pure love doesn't do this. I think to really love, you need to love yourself first and make sure you as a person is okay. Otherwise it might be something different than love like seeking acceptance from someone else or wanting someone else to love you because you don't you. Wow that sounds confusing but really, like puppy love is when you just want someone to like you, to think you're great. I think like marriage material love is when you know you could live without that person, you just don't want to.

Kristyn · 11-29-2007, 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whitney_03

I think good, pure love doesn't do this. I think to really love, you need to love yourself first and make sure you as a person is okay. Otherwise it might be something different than love like seeking acceptance from someone else or wanting someone else to love you because you don't you. Wow that sounds confusing but really, like puppy love is when you just want someone to like you, to think you're great. I think like marriage material love is when you know you could live without that person, you just don't want to.

i agree. good answer

NachtEngel · 11-29-2007, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kristyn

Ok. So the sex part. To me, sex isn't just something that's pleasurable. Like, the fact that it feels good isn't the only reason it's important to me. It's like a deeper connection with the one I love. It's not just sex, in general, that's great. Like, if I didn't have my boyfriend I wouldn't go around trying to get laid all the time because sex is so great and important for me to have a great life. It's the person I'm making love with that matters. It's really a beautiful thing, I can't really explain it. And the love part, I'm not really sure it can be explained, either. I don't know if you've ever been in love. I'm in love, I'm deeply in love, and if anything ever happened to my boyfriend I don't think I'd intentionally hurt myself, or kill myself, but I definately feel like the rest of my life spent without him would be a lot harder, like this sence of emptiness would just overcome me....and I can't really explain why. He's my other half. I would feel incomplete.

It may be a deeper connection but it is not what makes a relationship. I am going to just take a wild guess and say that if you two couldn't have sex you would still love him? Also, you already said you wouldn't be running around looking for it. My point is if you didn't have sex would you be depressed or hate the world? No, but some people are like that and I cannot understand why lack of sex causes them to get that way.

Kristyn · 11-29-2007, 10:05 AM

true. i guess i don't have an answer.