Friends question?

NachtEngel · #1 (**permalink**) 12-03-2007, 09:25 AM

I am just curious to know what you all think makes an actual friend. I think most people have a different idea or standard for what they consider to be a friend. I only have one real life friend right now (two if you count the one that lives in a completely different state than me now). I know I can be picky and that is part of the reason I don't have any anymore. I am ok with that though because I would be happier not having any than having ones that want to manipulate, change, or use me. To me a friend is someone that you like to spend time with. They are there for you and would be happy to help you when in need. They are also a person that you care about and would be happy to do things for in return. They don't just blow you off for selfish reasons when you are in need and you would not do that to them either. To me a real friendship is something very valuable but almost impossible to find. There are to many people out there that only want to take from people and never give anything back in return. I have given up a number of so called "friends" in the past because of this. Sometimes I wonder why it is so hard to find good people. I am so sick of seeing the world as being almost completely full of people absorbed in things like ignorance, conceit, vanity, and other various things.

**SARS-expl0ted** · 12-03-2007, 10:17 AM

I have to truly trust someone before I consider them to be my friend. There are a good bit of people that come over to our house [which is Jay's doing] but they are cool and all but I don't consider them my friends, they are just people I hang out with. The only true friend I have is Daniel and that is because I can trust him with anything. I cannot stand seeing dumb bitches running around calling everyone their best friend and shit. It's like no one completely understands what friendship is anymore. I can't stand it.

I hate when people do something nice, you say thanks and they they say, "Well that's what friends are for." I don't keep people around to baby me and be there for me when I am sad. I am there for myself. I don't need anyone else but myself to deal with these problems. I do like getting opinions and view points from others that are close to me though. I just...I hate when people that I don't know try to sit there and act like they are sorry about what I am going through and act like they are my 'bestest friend' ever.
Jay drives me insane because whenever he sees that I am angry he constantly fucking asks me what is wrong. It's like he could care less what is wrong with me but he just wants to be in on the drama. He has been doing it a lot lately and he only does it in front of his friends. He is either an asshole to me or acting like I am fucking God.

You just reminded me of how much I hate people...

4n7hr4x · 12-03-2007, 11:01 AM

My standard for friends if very fucked up. I've never had a childhood friend, someone that you grew up with even if only until High School. My parents moved way too much and I just never had that, and even now it is very VERY hard for me to be around my "friends" because I never feel close to them and even though I know them I never open up.

I agree though that a true friend will do anything for you and will expect you to do the same. I've noticed that in the States it is very hard to find someone like that. In Europe its very different, the entire social structure here is such that everyone helps each other out. You do a favor for someone and when you need help they are there.

Its weird but in a total of two summers in Europe I have more friends than I ever did in California. And not that I just know lots of people here, but I feel much closer to them and I do find it easier to open up and relax around my friends here in Europe.

Honestly though, my definition of a friend is someone who I have met at least twice and have had at least one descent conversation with. I travel around way too much to be picky about who my "friends" are, it would be much too boring if I had high standards. I'm constantly meeting new people and once I meet someone its not long before I meet their friends and so on and so forth.

Chill · 12-03-2007, 12:44 PM

I have many associates, people i consider friendly and act friendly towards, but as a general rule despise almost everyone, ive had lots of friends, but only a couple of close ones, and most of them either turned their back on me, changed in a way i dislike or have fallen out with me, but i have enough compadres to be fairy happy with my social life.

A problem is, as soon as i consider someone a friend, i tend to open up blah blah all fine, but i get too loyal and trusting too soon, for instance, i'd struggle to quit my job because im friends with my boss now, and hes a good guy, so im working through loyalty now.

no complaints.

**Brother of Yeshua** · 12-03-2007, 06:03 PM

In no particular order:

Trustworthy, Loyal, Honest.

If you fulfill those three things, I can overlook most other things.

ChaosXIII · 12-03-2007, 06:09 PM

Friends, HAH! I just say there are people I do like and don't like. People I like to be around, and people I LOATHE ENTIRELY!! I may have one person I consider a good friend, but none of these so called best friends. I trust no one except maybe my mom and sister. There are people I do for and sometimes they return the favor. Maybe this opinion will change one day, but I highly doubt it.

eDgE oF iNsAnItY · 12-03-2007, 06:13 PM

To me a "friend" is anyone you enjoy spending time with. But a "true friend" or "best friend" (I have more than one "best" friend) is someone that will stand by your side through the good and the bad. Someone that you know you can count on. Someone trustworthy that is not going to turn their back on you in your time of need. Unfortunately, the only real way to find out whether or not you can trust someone during a time of need is to be in that actual time of need and see whether or not they are actually there for you.

Brooklyne · 12-12-2007, 01:30 PM

To me, a friend is someone very important to me. I've never really had to go out and look for some good friends. It really just sorta happens and I then put all my trust into these people. The main three best friends I have now, are ones that I've had since I was basically 8 years old. They've been here for that long, and I know they're not going anywhere. I have fun with them and such. But I can really be myself around them, they help me with everything and I definitely can depend on them whenever. I have a few amazing friends over the internet and I consider them as much of a friend as my real life ones. Maybe even a little better. They're funny, sweet, and caring. And definitely conversation. If I can't have a conversation with someone for more then 5 minutes, then they're no good. lol

Keena · 12-12-2007, 01:45 PM

other than whats already been said on here, i think an important part is being able to forgive each other, bc its rare that you can know someone for very long without one of you doing something that irritates or angers the other, and if you can't move past stuff, forgive each other, and stay friends, your friendship will eventually end.

little miss sun · 12-13-2007, 02:09 PM

My friends are those I consider to be family. I have three friends. I call them my sisters and my brother. My friends are my chosen family. I would die for my family. I'd do anything for my family. My fiance is my best friend. Best friends are people I can be naked with.