Cause of a High Divorce Rate

**Ginevra** · #1 (**permalink**) 02-26-2008, 05:06 PM

People say that marriages just don't stay together like they used to. We young people are doing it all wrong. But are we? Is divorce a bad thing? One of the things that my sociology book finds to be the biggest cause of divorce is women in the workforce.

Why were there less divorces when men dominated the workplace? Because if they divorced how would the woman get by? Now she can leave abusive relationships, take there kids away from bad fathers, and so on. Not that it's always the dad, but the dad could have managed alone. He just would have been looked down upon, which women were too but once they could they apparently started to. I suppose the men are less evil when the women aren't left defenseless as well.

So maybe divorce isn't so horrible? Maybe we still need to be more careful about who we marry, but it doesn't seem to be the reason for higher divorce rates. They did that back then too.

eLracho · 02-26-2008, 05:41 PM

I was out with my friend and some of her coworkers, and we were talking about arranged marriages, b/c one of the women with us is Indian, and has been happily married for 30 years. She says that, since arranged marriages happen less often and (or b/c) some Indian women are becoming more "advanced," I suppose, like American women are, the divorce rates in their culture are rising.

So, I agree with what you and your sociology teacher said. Unfortunately, I think we (women, and U.S. society, I guess) have made strides in some areas of our lives, but...then, other areas of our lives suffer...

Is it true, then, that you "can't have it all?" Or...can you have it all, but just not at the same time?

**Ginevra** · 02-26-2008, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eLracho

Is it true, then, that you "can't have it all?" Or...can you have it all, but just not at the same time?

What is "It all"?

Static · 02-26-2008, 11:43 PM

None of that shit has to apply to you. If you want it all, take it all. It's that simple, nobody is the same, it's all up to you. Of course you can be happily married for 40, 50, 60 fucking years if you try hard enough at it. Too many people in this country especially think of divorce as the easy way out. The dude want's to feel some new ass and he thinks his old lady isn't as great anymore, or the chick gets drunk one night and 'accidentally' hooks up with her best friend, who just happens to be a guy...I've seen the same old story 100 times... Our generation doesn't respect the sanctity of what marriage is. Not in a religious way, but a committed way, and they're too easily available.

Make it $50,000 G's to get divorced and watch the divorce rate drop.

everyone's favo · 02-27-2008, 09:10 AM

I mostly blame society because our culture has advanced so much and we meet so many people so fast. Another reason is we just don't have the time to sit around and relax anymore. My adjustment teacher said, "we work so much, that when we finally retire, we don't even know the person we married anymore." People change so much over time, I have to agree that we just have no choice but to either move on or find the time to get to know our spouse again.

There is just too much going on anymore, that we are often forced away from the person we previously loved.

**Arcángel** · 02-27-2008, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Why were there less divorces when men dominated the workplace? Because if they divorced how would the woman get by? Now she can leave abusive relationships, take there kids away from bad fathers, and so on. Not that it's always the dad, but the dad could have managed alone. He just would have been looked down upon, which women were too but once they could they apparently started to. I suppose the men are less evil when the women aren't left defenseless as well.

I gotta agree with you on this, G. Now that the playing field is becoming more and more leveled every day, more women are actually seeing that they have the power and the God given right to protect themselves, and if applicable, their kids. Here's the catch though. At least from what I am seeing, the system is almost skewed towards women. Not so say that some dead-beat dads don't deserve it but, think about it. What chances does a dad have in a custody case?

The way I see it though, either both genders get the blame or none of them do. Men have the potential to cause damage much as women can in any marriage, and vice versa.

And let's not get me started on what kind of a fucked up system we have to help with the divorce process when kids are caught in the middle of this:

New Cassel mother charged with murder of her 3 children -- Newsday.com

Quote:

None of that shit has to apply to you. If you want it all, take it all. It's that simple, nobody is the same, it's all up to you. Of course you can be happily married for 40, 50, 60 fucking years if you try hard enough at it. Too many people in this country especially think of divorce as the easy way out. The dude wants to feel some new ass and he thinks his old lady isn't as great anymore, or the chick gets drunk one night and 'accidentally' hooks up with her best friend, who just happens to be a guy...I've seen the same old story 100 times... Our generation doesn't respect the sanctity of what marriage is. Not in a religious way, but a committed way, and they're too easily available.

Make it $50,000 G's to get divorced and watch the divorce rate drop.

I couldn't agree more. Divorce is being used these days as a tool, and some times it is used in spite. If two people really do love each other, they would find a way to make it work.

**Laina** · 02-27-2008, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Static

Our generation doesn't respect the sanctity of what marriage is.

Bingo.

I'm not going to get into a long, drawn-out rant about this right now because I have a crap load of studying to do. But I feel that this is a huge factor. It goes hand in hand with the fact that people in general don't understand what love truly is.
How do you define love? The majority of Americans answer with something that involves feelings or emotions. And that is where the problem lies. Love itself is not emotion.

**Arcángel** · 02-27-2008, 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laina

Bingo.

I'm not going to get into a long, drawn-out rant about this right now because I have a crap load of studying to do. But I feel that this is a huge factor. It goes hand in hand with the fact that people in general don't understand what love truly is.
How do you define love? The majority of Americans answer with something that involves feelings or emotions. And that is where the problem lies. Love itself is not emotion.

O....M...G...!...Finally! Do you know how long I've been waiting for someone to say that? It's good to know that I'm not crazy for thinking that, or at least that I'm not the only one who thinks this. In fact, it's much more than just emotion. It's sacrifice, effort and a whole host of other things that it seems that people these days have no idea why they stick together but, if my folks were able to stick together for 25 years so far, go through their fights, their tantrums, their not standing each other, and still be together, that to me is love.

**Ginevra** · 02-27-2008, 10:16 AM

The question is, did they have these problems in the past or is it just now apparant? A lot of these reasons are the reasons marriages fail, but is it why they fail more often then they used to?

And putting a high price on divorce means that celebrities could afford it and middle and working class would find it hard to get out of the situations they really need out of.

Also, to El Sub, my sister's ex husband kicks her ass in custody, and he's a giant dick. Just one instance, but it goes both ways. Maybe it's a little harder for men, and the better parent doesn't get the kids, but no system's perfect.

I don't think divorce is the answer or that you should practice it often, but I don't want it gone for the times it needs used.

**Arcángel** · 02-27-2008, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ginevra

The question is, did they have these problems in the past or is it just now apparant? A lot of these reasons are the reasons marriages fail, but is it why they fail more often then they used to?

And putting a high price on divorce means that celebrities could afford it and middle and working class would find it hard to get out of the situations they really need out of.

Also, to El Sub, my sister's ex husband kicks her ass in custody, and he's a giant dick. Just one instance, but it goes both ways. Maybe it's a little harder for men, and the better parent doesn't get the kids, but no system's perfect.

I don't think divorce is the answer or that you should practice it often, but I don't want it gone for the times it needs used.

This is why the system that we have now needs some sort of reform. There are wayyyy too many loopholes in it. btw, I really do hope that you sister fairs well on that custody case.