What should I do with my life?

4n7hr4x · 08-15-2007, 11:39 PM

Well some of you may remember my rants from March-ish, where in my highly depressed mood I promised that I would go to Europe for the summer and them not come back. Well I came back, and now I have a huge problem, I don't know what to do.

This year I did exactly what I did last year, I went to the same small town in Slovenia, got in touch with all my friends, made even more, worked for a month, had a few weeks of "vacation" and overall just absolutely loved every minute of it. Met a girl that I really like, and I'm pretty sure she likes me. Its weird though because I go there for two months and have more fun, more friends, meet more chicks, go out with more chicks than I have in 8 years here in SoCal.

Here in SoCal, nearly all my time goes to school, WHICH I CANNOT STAND, and working for my dad, which while it pays descent, although nowhere near enough for what I do but still bearable. What little time I have left I spend either smoking pot with the same 3 friends that I have here, or just sitting on my ass at home cause I'm too depressed to do anything. And thats it, that is exactly what every year has been like for the past 6 years and I just can't do that another year.

I told my parents that I want to(need to) take a break from school for atleast a year to sort everything out, and of course they just won't budge, they would rather have me spend 10years on my GED (because I can't take school seriously), than take a year off and either come back into school on my own free will or maybe never go back, but I just need a break to figure things out and I just can't get them to understand that.

I know they will never let me go, so if I were to decide to leave, I would have to buy my own ticket(no problem), get a ride to the airport while my parents are preferably out of town as an ugly confrontation can be expected. As far as housing, my grandparents already told me they would have no problem having me stay with them, as they have a huge three story house, of which they only use the bottom floor, so I would have two floors to myself, that need some remodeling but no biggie. As far as a job, assuming my dad doesn't disown me I cold still work for him from there, but if not I already own 30% of a central vacuum company in Slovenia, where I could very very easily find work. I already have a bank account there, and all other necessary papers to live there including citizenship. Lots of friends, that I relate to much more than I do with any of my friends here, not to mention a girl that I like, which if I had spent one more week with her I probably would never have left at all. As of now the plan would be to work there for a year and then go from there.

I realize its never smart to do something like this for a girl that possibly doesn't have the same interest in you as you do her, but I was set on moving there way before I met her and way before I even went there this summer, the fact that I met her is just icing on the cake that makes this decision only easier to make. Even in the worst case scenario I feel that I am still much better off than I am here, I truly feel like I'm dying here, I'm depressed, and now have therapists to look forward to and possibly more drugs.

I'm pretty much decided but I just wanted to see if you guys had anything good to add.

El Pirata · 08-15-2007, 11:46 PM

can you take me with you?

rofl jk, I think the best thing to do would be to talk it out with your parents. No matter how ugly it can possibly get, they have been there your whole life, so they should at least know what you have in mind.

4n7hr4x · 08-16-2007, 12:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by El Pirata

can you take me with you?

rofl jk, I think the best thing to do would be to talk it out with your parents. No matter how ugly it can possibly get, they have been there your whole life, so they should at least know what you have in mind.

I did bring it up and they basically said, "No, you're not gonna do that, you're gonna finish school because that's whats best for you."

It leads me question whether they truly understand what is best for me, because what is best for any one individual is what makes them happy and certainly not what makes them miserable.

El Pirata · 08-16-2007, 12:18 AM

hmm, well if thats the case it seems like you better start packing. All parents truly wants is whats best for you, but sometimes that can get slightly derailed and you just have to go out and get loose. You are going to have to be independent of them one day, so might as well start early no? Besides, school is always gonna be there, stress on the other hand keeps building up. I think it is a good idea to take a break from everything even if it has to be for a year. I dont guarantee anything good will happen lol. I took a semester off from school, thought I was serious and stuff in going back to school. Nah, same ol' me. I say take the gamble and go for it if you have the means.

**Ginevra** · 08-16-2007, 12:32 AM

Yeah, it's your life, and even if the girl doesn't work out and it's not all that you expected, it's an adventure, part of your life you'll remember, and always what if about if you stay. Plus, you can't just let your parents tell you what to do, not only because it's your life but also because they never stop until you make them. After you get out of school I'm sure they'll have more advice.

You can try my boyfriend's approach to his mom, when he tells his mom that he's doing something and she says "I want you home" or something like that, he just repeats himself. Like "Mom, I'm staying at her house tonight." "Why? I don't think you need to stay over there." "...I'm staying the night at her house." I dunno what your parents are like or what's customary for leaving parents house as you're not in the US. Here at 18 most kids do what they want, and some of their parents kick them out, and some of them do what they're parents want so they aren't kicked out. And some parents learn to let go.

Good luck!

4n7hr4x · 08-16-2007, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ginevra

Yeah, it's your life, and even if the girl doesn't work out and it's not all that you expected, it's an adventure, part of your life you'll remember, and always what if about if you stay. Plus, you can't just let your parents tell you what to do, not only because it's your life but also because they never stop until you make them. After you get out of school I'm sure they'll have more advice.

You can try my boyfriend's approach to his mom, when he tells his mom that he's doing something and she says "I want you home" or something like that, he just repeats himself. Like "Mom, I'm staying at her house tonight." "Why? I don't think you need to stay over there." "...I'm staying the night at her house." I dunno what your parents are like or what's customary for leaving parents house as you're not in the US. Here at 18 most kids do what they want, and some of their parents kick them out, and some of them do what they're parents want so they aren't kicked out. And some parents learn to let go.

Good luck!

Most families in Slovenia stay together, generally each family owns lots of land or at least enough for several homes on huge lots, so when a son or daughter marries, the parents give them a part of that land to build a house on, or they move in with the parents after school if they are not yet married. Its pretty much the opposite of the states. My parents are the same except they don't own any land here, not that I care, but the trend sticks as I work for my dad and probably will until he dies and I take over the company, its not like I have a choice really, I've been working with him since the seventh grade, and his latest business which has by far the most potential, I personally spent countless late LATE nights helping him get it started during High School when I should have been working on my social life instead. My dad is a great salesman, but a horrible businessman, he can't: write, read blueprints, write proposals, write e-mails, sometimes thinking also takes him a great deal of effort.

Its actually kind of funny because my parents did the same thing I am about to do, ditch their parents and move to a foreign country, at least they were already married when they did that, I'm gonna have to this on my own, but at least the rest of my family is there, so if my parents disown me at least I look to the rest of my family for comfort/support.