The one I knew, but only really got to know recently.

ChaosXIII · #1 (**permalink**) 10-13-2007, 08:00 PM

Well toasties, believe it or not, I, Chaos XIII am coming close to being in a relationship with someone. Maybe. I decided to post it in advice because I need a few honest opinions on what to do about the situation with our distance, and since were not in a relationship as of yet.
The story goes thus far, she used to live here, she moved to Atlanta which is like an hour and a half away from where I live, to go to college. I didn't really get to know her until she found my number in her cell and called to find out who it was. Since than we have had conversations on the phone every night for a week. I don't normally do this, in fact, I have NEVER done this, but she just peeks my interest. And just to let you know, these conversations run any where from an hour to five hours in length... yeah.
The advice. Since she lives that far, which isn't really that much of a stretch, and she's in college (we all know what goes on in college), should I try and keep this up? I really do enjoy our conversations and am quite interested in her, but can't shake the feeling of what might be going on in college. Let me hear some good words Toasties, please. Thanks.

eDgE oF iNsAnItY · 10-13-2007, 08:08 PM

Long distance relationships rarely work. Not that an hour and a half away is THAT long, but... still. How often do you think you would really see each other? Seperation is a motherfucker. Most people want to be with their significant other as much as possible. If they can't get that, they start to drift. Then again, I'm a little biased on this...

You're saying that you really didn't know her. So, what makes you think that you guys are a good matchup? Phone conversations? Not to offend, but think about it. She just called you cuz she found your number and wanted to know who it was. Then y'all started talking and whatnot. Sounds to me more like a hobby than anything, "call this random person and talk for a while". Did she say she remembered you and stuff? Has she given you any indication that she would want to start a relationship with you? I mean, maybe y'all would be good with each other. It all depends on how you feel about dating someone that you aren't going to be able to see any time that you want.

ChaosXIII · 10-13-2007, 08:16 PM

Well I knew her before, just not this well. When she lived here we hung out now and then and came to a few of my bands shows. The only reason we didn't get to know each other better than was because a friend of mine, which is also the drummer, and a close friend of hers was wanting to take their friendship to the next level, but never had to balls to. He ended up telling her if she had any respect for their friendship that she wouldn't talk to me and the like. Talk about insecurity.
I don't know. Relationship type shit is all very frustrating to me anyway.

eDgE oF iNsAnItY · 10-13-2007, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChaosXIII

Relationship type shit is all very frustrating to me anyway.

Goddamn right it is! Well, then, this leads me to ask, are u still friends with the drummer? I'm guessing so, but anyways... How would he feel about you trying to get with her? I know it's bullshit about people not wanting friends to get with someone they liked, even if they didn't do anything with that person, which I'm guessing is the case, since you said "he didn't have the balls to take the friendship to the next level". But, the question still stands on whether you would be willing to put your friendship on the line for this girl, whom you barely know and lives so far away. Maybe your friend is cool with it, maybe not, I dunno... but you should still talk to him about it, just to be sure...

Might get flamed for this one, but I don't give a fuck:

BROS BEFORE HOS!!!

Unless, of course, it is TRUE LOVE. In which case, all is fair in love and war...

ChaosXIII · 10-13-2007, 08:49 PM

I don't know if I could so much call him a friend any more anyway. He has lied to me and his brother, in which is my best friend and stolen from his brother in which almost got his brother fired. Plus the fact that I'm pretty sure he gave up on her a long time ago. I guess I shoulda mentioned the time span through all this, and the fact that she's liked me for a while now, I just didn't know it until we started chatting. I don't know, maybe I'll figure this shit out soon.

eDgE oF iNsAnItY · 10-13-2007, 09:08 PM

Well, good luck to ya, bro... Just do whatever u think will make u happy, u know?

**SeaStone** · 10-14-2007, 01:40 AM

You sound like you are attracted to her, but not willing to trust her with a serious relationship.

Is this right?

everyone's favo · 10-15-2007, 04:44 AM

How close are you to the drummer? If you two are really close friends, I say talk to him about it first.

Either way, long distance relationships take a lot work (obviously.) You just have to make sure that you trust her before taking anything further. Did you talk to her about your feelings yet?