Need some help in the love department...

#1 (**permalink**) 12-19-2007, 11:13 PM

I'm sorry it's long, but I really need advice !! Thanks in advance.

First I'll give you a bit of background.

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 & 1/2 years. I met him online, we started off as friends & slowly came to realize how much we both liked eachother. A year and a few months after we got together we discovered I was pregnant. Now we have a perfect 10 week old baby boy. We live together, he has a job & i'm still in school full time.

Ok well he got into playing a game online called "Perfect World" & it's starting to bug me... At first I was ok with him playing, but he has slowly became OBSESSED with the damn game... Now he is either on the computer playing, at work or sleeping... yes he still helps with the baby.

What hurts is that now we don't spend any alone time. I try to talk to him about it but we always end up arguing. He says "I'm with you all day" Well, how can I make him understand that being in the same building as me isn't spending time with me if he's playing the game...

How do I make him understand that I really miss when we would just watch t.v. & cuddle ? Even after I had the baby we would take advantage of the time he was asleep & spend time together. But lately it seems as if we're drifting apart. I know he still loves me, but I miss our time. Any tips ?

Ol' Patty · 12-20-2007, 12:07 AM

Man, that really sucks. Let's see... If you two argue when you talk about it don't force the issue. You could write a letter or something like that. I know if my girlfriend and mother of my child wrote me a letter expressing to me how much she misses spending time with me and that she had to write this because she couldn't talk to me about it, I would have a reality check. As well as deservedly feel like shit for a while. Just don't be condescending or blame stuff on him and stuff like that. It won't help.

Reading your post gave me the idea.

12-20-2007, 12:11 AM

I can't believe I had not thought of that. Thanks I'm gonna try it & see what happens. Hopefully he understands that the game should come after me, not before.

If it doesn't fix the problem I shall smash his computer with his own bat.
I kid, I kid. But I will be dissapointed.

Ol' Patty · 12-20-2007, 12:23 AM

No problem, heh. Hope it works! Let me know how it goes!

**SARS-expl0ted** · 12-20-2007, 06:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ol' Patty

Man, that really sucks. Let's see... If you two argue when you talk about it don't force the issue. You could write a letter or something like that. I know if my girlfriend and mother of my child wrote me a letter expressing to me how much she misses spending time with me and that she had to write this because she couldn't talk to me about it, I would have a reality check. As well as deservedly feel like shit for a while. Just don't be condescending or blame stuff on him and stuff like that. It won't help.

Reading your post gave me the idea.

That is a great idea.

If that one doesn't work, I would also try just acting like it doesn't bother you that he does it. Go find your own things to do and then he might start missing you.
Sooner or later, he will grow tired of the game. It always happens, trust me.

I use to have that same problem. I would barely get to see the guy I was with and when he would come over, I would spend that time playing a game that I was currently obsessed with.

If you want, you could try to play with him if you guys have more than one computer.

everyone's favo · 12-20-2007, 07:12 AM

That or plan something for the family to do outside of the house. Even though you guys don't have a lot of time together, you can still make the best of it by doing something outside of the house....especially something you two can do with the baby.

**Opunaya** · 12-20-2007, 07:31 AM

Picnics are cool!

I think that while all this advice is great. You're going to need to do a combination of it in order to get it to work.

For example: Say you and the baby are going out to the park or whatever the hell you've planned, and not offer for him to go. Do that a few more times, either by you and the baby or just you going out, or relaxing by yourself, whatever...and when he finally starts talking more, you give him the note.

You see, the problem is, that when a guy--even if they are in love--take everything for granted...and won't realize how important you are until you're gone...even if you're not leaving forever or anything. Or something. whatever! Just kick him in the nuts! I don't know. ;-;

**SARS-expl0ted** · 12-20-2007, 07:33 AM

Opu you forgot the fact that it's really cold to be considering a picnic. She has a little baby that doesn't need to be out in the cold.

I picnic is a great idea though but it is the wrong part of the year for that.

**Opunaya** · 12-20-2007, 08:00 AM

I forget we're in Florida where you can still do something like that...

Besides, a picnic was just an example, and something fairly simple to do with a kid that young.

12-20-2007, 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by [ Jew Blaster ]

That is a great idea.

If that one doesn't work, I would also try just acting like it doesn't bother you that he does it. Go find your own things to do and then he might start missing you.
Sooner or later, he will grow tired of the game. It always happens, trust me.

I use to have that same problem. I would barely get to see the guy I was with and when he would come over, I would spend that time playing a game that I was currently obsessed with.

If you want, you could try to play with him if you guys have more than one computer.

That's what we did when he was obsessed with Socom on PS2. Since we each had our own we just brough another t.v. in the room & we played together. The only problem with that is that my computer in the other room doesn't have enough RAM or space to dl the game. He has RAM sticks & a 500GB external hard drive. Maybe I'll ask him to put one in my pc & to help me clear it out a bit... Thanks for this great idea.

Cause I also play the game but only for like 10-15 min. cause then he wants back onto his username.

Ok I'm gonna do what Opunaya said & mix all your ideas together.

First, I'll got out with my mom & Aiden alone alot more. Or I'll have her drop me off somewhere.[I still can't drive lol]

I can go to the mall & finish up my x.mas shopping, or a friend's house. I go to a school for parenting teens so we all have kids.

& if after, let's say, two or three weeks he's still acting like this i'll give him the letter or have a very serious talk with him.

Thjanks everyone you we're very helpful !!