my guy is getting serious..help!

03-14-2007, 11:35 PM

Deep here..so take a breath..

OK.. A little bit of background first: so my guy and I have been going out for over a year now. He is the sweetest boyfriend evvver, but it gets hard because it's long distance this year--he travels. Just tonight he knocked me out of my socks by getting really serious. Ya know...he talking about kid names, if he'd want boy/girl, and finally on to if I'd consent to getting engaged before I finish my degree. Ah! Not so cool for me. I know I need to focus on my degree before anything serious happens. I told him that, and he was still really sweet about it.
OK... my problem is that I still don't know if he's "THE ONE". Guys... can I keep stalling for like.. years? Is that even allowed? I would like to keep this relationship, but I think we're not on the same "page" and that scares me.
Any advice would be cool.

THANKS.

TrippinSmurf · 03-14-2007, 11:39 PM

yo thats a hard one hun all I can say is just do what your heart says and never second guess it.
peas and luv
smurf

Swift19 · 03-14-2007, 11:43 PM

i would recommend taking it slow. any relationship where people move too fast in it almost always doesn't last and, for that matter end well. that and spending more time with him in person would, i'd think, give you a better idea of if he's the "one".

TrippinSmurf · 03-14-2007, 11:46 PM

I um I just wont say nuthin to that lmfao............

03-15-2007, 12:05 AM

Yea..that is some good reasoning. Thank u. Going slowly is exactly what I'd like to do, but I'm afraid that he and I have two different ideas of what should be going on right now. The strange thing is that I have a feeling HE is right. Like we've been dating long enough.. it seems like a logical step. I just feel horrible keeping a person in a relationship when I KNOW I'm not ready to be serious but the other person is...

ohsoindie · 03-15-2007, 12:13 AM

Sounds like you don't know what you want. And whether you're trying to or not you're kind of stringing him along at this point. Maybe you guys should take a break so you can figure out what's up with YOU before you start worrying about someone else.

03-15-2007, 12:17 AM

Ahhh.. interesting. I don't deny that I don't know what I want.. that is for sure. I just don't want to loose a good thing.
BTW, are u really married to SARS-exploted?

eDgE oF iNsAnItY · 03-15-2007, 12:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smallwonder

Deep here..so take a breath..

OK.. A little bit of background first: so my guy and I have been going out for over a year now. He is the sweetest boyfriend evvver, but it gets hard because it's long distance this year--he travels. Just tonight he knocked me out of my socks by getting really serious. Ya know...he talking about kid names, if he'd want boy/girl, and finally on to if I'd consent to getting engaged before I finish my degree. Ah! Not so cool for me. I know I need to focus on my degree before anything serious happens. I told him that, and he was still really sweet about it.
OK... my problem is that I still don't know if he's "THE ONE". Guys... can I keep stalling for like.. years? Is that even allowed? I would like to keep this relationship, but I think we're not on the same "page" and that scares me.
Any advice would be cool.

THANKS.

Just make sure he understands that you are not ready for that kind of commitment. And if you want to remain dating, but not getting engaged, or being too serious with it, there is nothing wrong with it. Just don't lead him on. Just make sure he understands exactly how you feel. Let him know that you are not sure which direction you want to take your life right now other than you want to focus on your degree. If he really loves you, he will understand and respect your decision.

And as far as you having been together for a year...

This is advice my uncle gave me when I was younger, and for the most part it pans out to be true. i guess a female could take it vice versa. But this is what he told me.

The first year of a relationship, a woman will spend all her time convincing you that she is perfect, that she is The One.
The second year, she will spend all of her time trying to change you.
The third year, she will spend all of her time trying to make your life a living hell.

03-15-2007, 01:35 AM

sometime kids name and those "future" stuff is more like "fun" stuff.. u know like dreaming about it. it doesnt mean that u have to married him anyway.. bunch of my friends talk abou that kind of things.. its only just things to talk about.

TrippinSmurf · 03-15-2007, 01:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by suweetah

sometime kids name and those "future" stuff is more like "fun" stuff.. u know like dreaming about it. it doesnt mean that u have to married him anyway.. bunch of my friends talk abou that kind of things.. its only just things to talk about.

whoo lol someone more honest then me