how do you forget when you can't hate?

03-02-2007, 05:34 PM

about 14 months ago i started dating this guy who was in the navy-i thought it would only last a month so i wasn't worried that he was in the military and might be leaving, then i went and fell for him-he was amazing, treated me great, looked at me like i was the most beautiful, amazing girl in the world. we never fought, just worked stuff out. then he left on deployment and we went on a break while he was gone, talking the whole time and planning to get back together, still with all that 'baby i miss you, cant wait until we're together again' stuff. anyway, he got back about a month ago and we casually got back together, taking things slow, but it turned out he wanted to take things slow cuz he got promoted and now they're sending him on all these training things all over the west coast until he has to go on deployment again, so we both decided it wouldnt work out for us to be together. so now i'm not tlaking to him at all so i can try to get over him (that and he's on some mountain and cant communicate) but its hard, because all i have is memories of him holding me and adoring me and just being great and i dont know how to really get over those memories when i can't hate him!

**B!0H@Z@Rd** · 03-02-2007, 06:13 PM

I don't think your in a situation where you have to hate him to forget.

You guys left on good terms as far as I can see.

Its gonna take a while, so try to focus on other things, do what you did before you met him read books, hang out with friends, keep yourself occupied. Sooner or later you'll forget without even noticing.

Who knows maybe you guys would see each other again and have a better shot at things.

03-03-2007, 11:42 PM

i don't mean to break your heart anything, but only time will solve this one. that's what others said to me when a relationship was ended harshly and abruptly for me. i was sick of people telling me that, but it's true.

took me eight months to get over it, diagnosed with depression and anxiety, boxed myself in (something i regret), and toughed it out. not the usual scenario for this relationship, but all my friends tell me they're proud of me. honestly, i could care less about what they think, cuz i didn't do it for them, i endured the eight months of emptiness cuz i had no other choice. i changed for the better without even knowing (best friend brought it up and gave me a few days to realize and think about it).

only time will solve it. it still hurts when someone tells me that they had no idea (i didn't tell everyone) and that they're proud of me (even tho it happened almost a year ago) cuz all they're doing is bringing painful memories back and causing me to explain and recreate the whole scene again. wait it out, you'll be okay. just please don't do anything that you'll come to regret while you're getting over it. he did nothing wrong to you, he's obviously a great guy, you should be proud of him.

Mike

Kalia · 03-04-2007, 04:52 AM

I knwo you might not feel like it but try spending loads of time with your friends. it'll take your mind of it. or take up a new hobbie or try something different, that way you'll be making new friends and doing something new which wont have any connections to your ex. also take all the stuff he gave you and put it in a pretty box. keep the memorys dont destroy them but dont have them constantly reminding you they will slow down the healing process.

03-04-2007, 10:47 AM

what i did was i kept myself busy. letting my brain idle and do nothing just made me think about it more and dwell on my past. as much as i didn't want to hang out with my friends, when they forced me to go out with them, it was astonishing to see how my mind was off of it completely. they didn't know about what happened (like i said, i didn't tell everyone), they just forced me to go out cuz i'm usually the center of attention lol. but yeah, just keep yourself busy and keep your brain from idling and doing nothing. i hope it helps. pm me if you want more details or have any specific questions for me.

Mike

Itsjustme · 03-06-2007, 07:15 PM

U don't need to forget its our memorys that drive us to live if u think about it all your life is is a memory Just look back on it as a great point in your life and somday u will find somone that will make u just as happy if not happier. The pain is part of life it will fade slowly but there is nuthin that u can do about it but these down points of life make the good look that much better

03-06-2007, 07:25 PM

If you really loved him you'll never quite get over it. Otherwise you'll just have to wait for time to pass.

03-06-2007, 08:04 PM

why you want to hate him or forget him? well being with with him is one of ur sweet memories, keep it. the point is, put in ur mind that he is no longer urs. u can always remember the sweet memories, but, put in ur mind u have ur future to be take care of. is he still think about u? is still loving him is worth to u?