Ex Fiance

eDgE oF iNsAnItY · 03-11-2007, 04:42 AM

OK. So.... I am stationed in South Korea, right. I was going to marry my ex-fiance after I got out of basic training and AIT. BUT... when I found out I was going to spend a year in South Korea, we decided not to spend our first year of marriage apart. So, then I get here and found out that I can bring her over if we are married. We could have paid for her plane ticket and got married at the U.S. Embassy and then everything would be gravy. Well, then the whole North Korea testing missiles things happened. I have my daughter and she has her son. They would have both came over with her. Now, since this whole North Korea thing was happening I decided I didn't want them to come over in case anything popped off. I was pretty sure nothing was going to happen, but didn't want to put my family at risk. We discussed it and decided we'd just wait until I got back. Well, she used to work at Subway and then got a new job at WalMart. So, of course, she met new friends at WalMart. I encouraged her to go out because she was kinda being a loner staying home all the time and whatnot, complaining about how she was so bored. So, she starts hanging out with these girls from work and is introduced to this guy who she starts having "feelings'' for. So, we discuss it and I'm like "Well, I love you... yadda yadda... me or him?" She says she can't decide between the two of us. So, I'm like well obviously what we had that I thought was so special, isn't that special if you can just meet some other guy and let him come between us that fast. So, I make the decision and we are through. Now, we still talk on MySpace and whatnot. I really want to remain friends with her. Well, pretty much he fucked her and left her and now she wants me back. And as much as I still love her and am in love with her, I just can't take her back because I don't trust her. Trust is the main thing in a relationship and it is definitely lacking on my part. So, I still want to remain friends with her, but it's probably going to get too complicated.

So.... don't really have a straight forward question, just wondering what y'alls opinions are.

**Adri** · 03-11-2007, 05:35 AM

in my opinion u did the right thing in not taking her back. im not sure how well the whole staying friends thing is gonna be, considering that she wants u back. if u give it time u 2 could prolly work things out. but if ur stuck on not wanting to give her another chance then maybe staying friends is not such a good thing. i dont know, like i said its just my opinion. i hope things work out for u.

eDgE oF iNsAnItY · 03-11-2007, 06:57 AM

No, you are probably right and I already knew that. I just want to try to remain friends cuz I still really care about her and want to know what's going on with her and that she is alright and all that. I dunno. But as far as us getting back together, it ain't gonna happen. Since I'm in the Army and of course have that chance of getting deployed, and this deployment to Korea ended up doing this to us, if I get deployed again what would happen? The same thing? I don't trust her enough to be faithful. I told her maybe we could see if our paths lead us back to each other when I get out. Cuz October 25, 2009 I am telling Uncle Sam to kiss my ass, well, unless he "stop-loss"es my ass. Actually, I'd still tell him to kiss my ass, but I'd just be stuck in the Army still. But anyways, when I get out maybe see if there is something still there, but I dunno...

Anyone else got some input?

Sophie19 · 03-11-2007, 08:11 AM

You have absolutely done the right thing. She obviously cant handle the distance and distance is something she is going to have to deal with as long as your in the military. You can try to be friends with her but until she gets over having fucked up and lost you it's not really gonna work. But eventually she will and then you two can be friends.

**SARS-expl0ted** · 03-11-2007, 08:41 AM

Dude, first off...that was totally fucked up on her part but you know what? Obviously, she is not good for you. At least you learned that quickly instead of being with her for a much longer period of time.

...but I hate when women do that. The person that they love is over somewhere going through all of this shit and then her life is just too o-so 'important' to be fucking loyal.

When I told Daniel that I would wait on him if he gets deployed, I fucking meant it and I still do.
If I did not think I could handle that shit...then I wouldn't have told him that I would be here for him when he returned.

**Ristaron** · 03-11-2007, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SARS-expl0ted

Dude, first off...that was totally fucked up on her part but you know what? Obviously, she is not good for you. At least you learned that quickly instead of being with her for a much longer period of time.

...but I hate when women do that. The person that they love is over somewhere going through all of this shit and then her life is just too o-so 'important' to be fucking loyal.

When I told Daniel that I would wait on him if he gets deployed, I fucking meant it and I still do.
If I did not think I could handle that shit...then I wouldn't have told him that I would be here for him when he returned.

Quoted for truth and respect.

JuLi · 03-11-2007, 05:03 PM

wow... SARS just said it all.

eDgE oF iNsAnItY · 03-11-2007, 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SARS-expl0ted

Dude, first off...that was totally fucked up on her part but you know what? Obviously, she is not good for you. At least you learned that quickly instead of being with her for a much longer period of time.

...but I hate when women do that. The person that they love is over somewhere going through all of this shit and then her life is just too o-so 'important' to be fucking loyal.

When I told Daniel that I would wait on him if he gets deployed, I fucking meant it and I still do.
If I did not think I could handle that shit...then I wouldn't have told him that I would be here for him when he returned.

Unfortunately, I've seen it happen to a bunch of people over here in Korea.

03-11-2007, 11:16 PM

Unfortunately I see it all the time. my best friend is cheating on her boyfriend ( he's in the navy) because he was deployed to the caymen islands. When i asked her why, she said boredom, loneliness.

I think it takes a certain type of person to do a long distance relationship. I've done them before and I've never cheated. Been cheated on but never cheated. One should realise that hobbies, work, school, friends, are pretty good time fillers between seeing your lover.

you did the right thing by breaking it off, chances are, if she did it once, she'll do it again.
Then again, things will work out the way they're supposed to. good luck to ya

eDgE oF iNsAnItY · 03-12-2007, 11:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by asperparumpillula

~Meet Me in The Bathroom And I'll Show You Everything, I'll Give You Something That You Can Believe In...~

I want to believe!!!

So... I was talking to the ex on MySpace today and she says that the messages I've been getting weren't from her. That someone had hacked her account and were sending them to me. That her and her boyfriend are doing good and everything, so I dunno... whatever, though really, but it was just kinda weird. Why would someone do that? Oh, well...