Confused Feelings/Mixed Messages

#1 (**permalink**) 01-21-2008, 02:33 AM

Okay, I want to get some opinions/advice from people who don't really know me on a personal level. And watch out, this is a long story.

So, I like this one guy a lot and I'm going to refer to him as "Kaishin".

I first met Kaishin at my birthday party in which I was having dinner at the sushi restaurant Kaishin works at. I'm going to call it, "Soumei". But I actually got to talk to him at a barbecue that Soumei was holding. We only talked briefly, but I thought he seemed like an interesting guy. Then later on, I was in dire need of a job and Soumei pays really well, so I got myself the position of cashier. Kaishin was really nice and friendly to me, so we started talking a bit more and I learned more about him. Kaishin is 24 years old, about 4 and a half years older than me.

Then I started to like him as I got to know him better. But that's where the problem lies. See, my dad is also a sushi chef at Soumei. They're co-workers and they're both Japanese and Asians tend to be pretty strict about things like this. It doesn't help that my dad doesn't really like him as a chef. But I figured, there should be no problems if we're just friends. Except I started noticing that he looks at me a lot and then we found out that we share very similar musical tastes and we both love karaoke. I invited him to come karaoke with me and my friends and he sings so awesomely well that I couldn't help but like him even more. My friends also said that they noticed that he kept looking at me.

At work, we sometimes talk after the shift about life and such. He's always giving me advice and says how young I am and how he went through the same problems when he was my age. I'm also the same age as one of his younger sisters. This is when I thought, "Damnit, he sees me as a 'younger sister' figure" and lost a bit of confidence. But oh well, it doesn't hurt to hang out as just friends.

Then my friends and I invited him to come see 30 Days of Night after we get off of work. I asked if I could get a ride with him to the theater and I'll get a ride back with my friends. He said that was fine and before the restaurant closed, I wanted to buy the green tea tiramisu dessert for to-go, but decided against it. Kaishin noticed this and said that he can get me one, but I told him it's okay, I can get it another time. Then after work, I was waiting in the parking lot for him and I noticed him carrying a to-go box. I asked him what it was and he opened it. It was the green tea tiramisu cake that I wanted! It turns out that he's the one who makes most of the desserts. Wow, talk about attractive. Then in the car, we blared our favorite band and sang along the whole way through. At the movie theater, I paid for his ticket cuz he's actually given me free dessert on several occasions. My friends weren't there yet, so we went in and started watching the movie. I'm not good with scary movies, so I was getting jittery. Once we got inside, he took my hand and led me up the stairs and we sat down. Thank God the theater is dark cuz my face was bright red. My friends came pretty late and since they came through the wrong side, they had to sit a couple rows away on the other side. About halfway through the movie, my friend comes stumbling through the theater to me and says that she has to go home. So I thought, "...Ugh, this means I'm gonna have to leave too" so I told Kaishin what was going on and he said that he could drive me back. It was a shock because he actually lives near the movie theater and if he drove me back, then he'll have to cross the Golden Gate Bridge again and well, it's just a HUGE inconvenience. I said no, it's okay, but he kept insisting. So, it turned out just Kaishin and I at the movie theaters. He didn't make a move or anything, but after the movie, he kept rubbing my shoulders and patting my head, saying that it's okay and if I get nightmares at night, I can call him. I slept over at a friend's house, so I just texted him, but man, I was so confused.

Since then, we've gone karaoke a couple times and nothing really out of the ordinary. I've been invited over to his house to have some tea and just talk. He still looks at me more often than a person should and we joke around, talk about life, and so on, so forth.

Now, I'm very confused. I don't know if he just sees me as a friend and just really friendly or if he's actually interested. Or maybe he's just very nice to me because he has to since I'm my dad's daughter. Or maybe he is this way to everyone. He hasn't really invited me to go somewhere, but then again, it's mostly because he goes out drinking a lot and I'm underage. I know I can't tell him how I feel for as long as I'm still working at Soumei and/or living with my dad. But what do you guys think? Because my friends who are girls keep telling me to go for it and that he's definitely interested, but my friends who are guys tell me that it's really risky and that I shouldn't try to pursue it. Plus, he might be into someone else and I'm frikkin 19 and he's 24.

Sorry it's so long, but argh, it's really just making me mentally lost. Any insight would be great. Thanks for listening to this really whiny teenager-esque story! XD

**Nøz** · 01-21-2008, 03:04 AM

Look to me like he may have an eye for you but doesnt want to mess things up.
Damn that was a long read heh.

I would wait and see where he goes from right now he look like he is doing the big brother role. You can tell him how you feel but it may lead down a road you are unfamilar with or it may be a good thing.
I would wait and see how he acts toawrds you more before deciding to tellhimhow you feel.
You live in the east bay?!

**SeaStone** · 01-21-2008, 03:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oolong

He's always giving me advice and says how young I am and how he went through the same problems when he was my age. I'm also the same age as one of his younger sisters. This is when I thought, "Damnit, he sees me as a 'younger sister' figure" and lost a bit of confidence. But oh well, it doesn't hurt to hang out as just friends.

I wasn't there so I can't say for sure, but this seems like he's cutting you down, confidence-wise.

Anyway, it sounds like he might be interested, but I'd wait for him to make the first move. There's not enough evidence to really be sure that he's interested.

Just wait it out and continue hanging out with him.