How to write a paper in college/university:

**Nøz** · #1 (**permalink**) 12-21-2007, 04:58 PM

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lit place in front of your computer.

2. Log onto MSN and ICQ (be sure to go on away!). Check your email.

3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.

4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some chocolate to help you concentrate.

5. Check your email.

6. Call up a friend and ask if he/she wants to go to grab a coffee. Just to get settled down and ready to work.

7. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lit place.

8. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.

9. Check your email.

10. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.

11. Look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.

12. Grab some mp3z off of kazaa.

13. Check your email. ANY OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR YET?!

14. MSN chat with one of your friends about the future. (ie summer plans).

15. Check your email.

16. Listen to your new mp3z and download some more.

17. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if she's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory emarks about your prof, the
course, the college, the world at large.

18. Walk to the store and buy a pack of gum. You've probably run out.

19. While you've got the gum you may as well buy a magazine and read it.

20. Check your email.

21. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV.

22. Play some solitare (or age of legends!).

23. Check out bored.com.

24. Wash your hands.

25. Call up a friend to see how much they have done, probably haven't started either.

26. Look through your housemate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.

27. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.

28. Check to see if bored.com has been updated yet.

29. Check your email and listen to your new mp3z.

30. You should be rebooting by now, assuming that windows is crashing on schedule.

31. Read over the assignment one more time, just for heck of it.

32. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.

33. Lie face down on the floor and moan.

34. Punch the wall and break something.

35. Check your email.

36. Mumble obscenities.

37. 5am - start hacking on the paper without stopping. 6am -paper is finished.

38. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to write that stupid paper.

39. Go to class, hand in paper, and leave right away so you can take a nap.

xXFlyingPiggyXx · 12-21-2007, 06:23 PM

Exactly!!! ...I didn't realize everyone was so good at procrastinating.

**Ginevra** · 12-21-2007, 09:47 PM

Hahahahahaha. I do that. Of course, sometimes I didn't get it done, and I couldn't write because of stress, and then it didn't get done... but that mess is somewhere in Waaaaaah, lol.

**B!0H@Z@Rd** · 12-21-2007, 09:58 PM

Lol I can so see myself doing that, the only problem is that I actually like writing

**Kelley** · 12-22-2007, 08:41 AM

Hah ohh yes of course I did some of that.
But instead of checking emails, it was facebook.

**Ristaron** · 12-22-2007, 09:17 AM

This is the story of my life.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to take a nap. Fucking paper...

everyone's favo · 12-22-2007, 09:22 AM

That sound like the 4 days i stayed awake straight during finals week.

w8_4_the_moonrise · 12-22-2007, 09:30 AM

Aaaah The glory of the paper, I usually keep the TV on during all that just so I can really get distracted.

Chase_the_Bass · 12-22-2007, 10:20 AM

lol. That was pretty accurate.

4n7hr4x · 12-22-2007, 01:23 PM

*sigh*

I miss those days in Honors English in High School. I had Wrestling practice from when school ended until 6pm or 8pm every day and a book to read with an essay summary every week almost and 4 large papers to write each year. I would never start until the last day and I would always start just before midnight, write like crazy until 3am, 5am (or not even go to sleep) and usually I would get a B, except for one project... I turned it in, but really there was nothing there I don't even know why I bothered, cause i was supposed to write a 3 page summary with quotes for each book and there were like 20 books, I didn't read a single one and I started the night before it was due