God Exists and I Can Prove It!

Abrasax · #1 (**permalink**) 10-27-2007, 07:16 AM

Here are several proofs of God's existence I found on godlessgeeks.com . They should be taken with upmost seriousness....

ARGUMENT FROM INFINITE REGRESS, a.k.a. FIRST CAUSE ARGUMENT (II)
(1) Ask Atheists what caused the Big Bang.
(2) Regardless of their answer, ask how they know this.
(3) Continue process until the Atheist admits he doesn't know the answer to one of your questions.
(4) You win!
(5) Therefore, God exists

ARGUMENT FROM EXHAUSTION (abridged)
(1) Do you agree with the utterly trivial proposition X?
(2) Atheist: of course.
(3) How about the slightly modified proposition X'?
(4) Atheist: Um, no, not really.
(5) Good. Since we agree, how about Y? Is that true?
(6) Atheist: No! And I didn't agree with X'!
(7) With the truths of these clearly established, surely you agree that Z is true as well?
(8) Atheist: No. So far I have only agreed with X! Where is this going, anyway?
(9) I'm glad we all agree.....

ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (I)
(1) I define God to be X.
(2) Since I can conceive of X, X must exist.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (II)
(1) I can conceive of a perfect God.
(2) One of the qualities of perfection is existence.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (I), a.k.a. DESIGN ARGUMENT
(1) Check out the world/universe/giraffe. Isn't it complex?
(2) Only God could have made them so complex.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

*lol, I've actually heard a pastor use this with saying "giraffe" specifically.

ARGUMENT FROM CREATION, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM PERSONAL INCREDULITY (I)
(1) If evolution is false, then creationism is true, and therefore God exists.
(2) Evolution can't be true, since I lack the mental capacity to understand it; moreover, to accept its truth would cause me to be uncomfortable.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

*this follows the normal assumption that if evolution can be proven false than creationsim must be proven true...notice there is no step 1

ARGUMENT FROM BEAUTY, a.k.a. DESIGN/TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (II)
(1) Isn't that baby/sunset/flower/tree beautiful?
(2) Only God could have made them so beautiful.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM FEAR
(1) If there is no God then we're all going to not exist after we die.
(2) I'm afraid of that. (3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE
(1) [arbitrary passage from OT]
(2) [arbitrary passage from NT]
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENCE
(1) Look, there's really no point in me trying to explain the whole thing to you stupid Atheists — it's too complicated for you to understand. God exists whether you like it or not.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM UNINTELLIGENCE
(1) Okay, I don't pretend to be as intelligent as you guys — you're obviously very well read. But I read the Bible, and nothing you say can convince me that God does not exist. I feel him in my heart, and you can feel him too, if you'll just ask him into your life. "For God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son into the world, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish from the earth." John 3:16.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

*this is one of my favorites....i hear it all the time

ARGUMENT FROM INCOMPLETE DEVASTATION
(1) A plane crashed killing 143 passengers and crew.
(2) But one child survived with only third-degree burns.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

* It upsets me that this one is used as often as it is..... after a plane crash such as this the parents will typically be like "I love God so much...he must exist because he saved my child". What about the other passengers though?

ARGUMENT FROM POST-DEATH EXPERIENCE
(1) Person X died an Atheist.
(2) He now realizes his mistake.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL
(1) God loves you.
(2) How could you be so heartless to not believe in him?
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM SACRIFICIAL BLACKMAIL
(1) Jesus died for your sins.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM CREATIVE INTERPRETATION
(1) God is:
(a) The feeling you have when you look at a newborn baby.
(b) The love of a mother for her child.
(c) That little still voice in your heart.
(d) Humankind's potential to overcome their difficulties.
(e) How I feel when I look at a sunset.
(f) The taste of ice cream on a hot day.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM INSECURITY
(1) We have gone to absolutely berserk lengths to establish that Atheists are laughable morons.
(1.5) Actually, we did so in the hopes of curing our own insecurities about theism — but there's no chance in hell we'll ever admit that.
(2) Therefore, Atheists are laughable morons.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM TEEN CHRISTIAN MOVEMENT
(1) God is so totally awesome, dude, and if you would pretend that Creed and POD were good bands, you would realize that.
(2) Also, our Youth Group leader Skip once, like, cured a broken leg using only the power of the almighty Lord.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

* i like this one a lot as well

Anyway....I hope I've clearly established to all of those stupid atheists that god does indeed exist. If you need it proven to you anymore go to Hundreds of Proofs of God’s Existence

**Twizt3d** · 10-27-2007, 10:33 AM

Lay off the fuckwords Twiz. It's uncalled for, and a bad example for a mod to be setting.

Stossel · 10-27-2007, 10:44 AM

You can't be serious. You can't.

10-27-2007, 10:47 AM

abrasax, abrasax....
this is sad. seriously. so if your saying that god exists, then all the other religions, no matter what they are, are wrong? I'm sorry but i have an extremely hard time believing that. so shut the hell up.

**Nøz** · 10-27-2007, 11:44 AM

**Twizt3d** · 10-27-2007, 11:48 AM

Can someone get banned for being this stupid?

**Nøz** · 10-27-2007, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Twizt3d

Can someone get banned for being this stupid?

No calm down lol.

Chase_the_Bass · 10-27-2007, 12:05 PM

Did any of yall go to godlessgeeks.com? This is supposed to be sarcastic. If you go to the site it's an atheist site. This is supposed to show the "stupidity" of Christians...So Abrasax isn't pro-God at all.

**SeaStone** · 10-27-2007, 12:07 PM

I think the guy meant it a bit satirically.

If he was so extremely serious as you people think he is, then the execution is lacking, but I don't think he meant it in the way you lot took it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chase_The_Bass

Did any of yall go to godlessgeeks.com? This is supposed to be sarcastic. If you go to the site it's an atheist site. This is supposed to show the "stupidity" of Christians...So Abrasax isn't pro-God at all.

Eh, you beat me to it.

So Noz, Twiz, Allen, and Stossel are the ones that are idgits.

Chase_the_Bass · 10-27-2007, 12:09 PM

And he started the "Take 'Under God' out of the Pledge" thread. So if he did that, could he really be serious about this? Come on.