What real, true, unconditional love REALLY is...

JumpInTheFire · #1 (**permalink**) 03-10-2008, 04:07 AM

Wrote this on a plane yesterday, but yea, it pretty much explains itself
good-day everyone

Just sick of people who think they are in love or people thinking how "sweet" and "cute it is when a guy/girl does something for one another... anyhow, read on and you will see

Quote:

So, the topic of love? What could I say that hasn't already been said? Well what is on my mind of course. Feelings and emotions. What rational, irrational, predictable and unpredictable things. So explosive and dull, full and empty. It is quite a funny thing to think of how most social structures wrap themselves around these inexpendable, yet sometimes expendable, items.

In a world with ludicrous events such as people spending years in prison for taking drugs, it is an enjoyable occurrence to take a look at how love is viewed. Or at least the perception of love. Now is when I make my libertarian views obvious. If a person, while never crossing the line of impeding on another's freedoms and rights, wants to endanger their own body via the emptiness of drugs, who is to tell them otherwise? Although I don't see liberty as advanced or in need of any critical thinking, it does appear to be that way. People scoff or marvel in blankedness at one having the right to do what they wish; to be in total and complete control of one's own life and body. I suppose people have a hard time making it to the concept of personal responsibility that comes along with freedom and are therefore stopped at the idea of happy socialism. The government or anyone in general, taking care of you or bailing you out is a much grander and self-serving idea than real freedom right?

Why is it that people take drugs? Because it ruins their life? Well I would certainly hope not. People use drugs because drugs feel good. Drugs fulfill a desire, a need, a want. Drugs are like many other things in life. Drugs are another of our socially artificially induced endorphin trips. Life has many sides to it; one of what most want out of it is pleasure. Pleasure, satisfaction and the ability to repeat. Pleasure and satisfaction are two of the most sought after feelings and emotions that have forever thrived through human veins in our short history. That is an obvious reason for being addicted to things like sex. Sex, arguably to many the most sensational and pleasurable feeling a human being can ever experience. Sex, drugs and rock & roll? Anyhow, it is not merely the entity; it is what that entity provides. Anything that can provide immense pleasure, and hopefully for most be repeated, will be a smash hit among the human population. Love, or at least the perception of love, is no different. People take drugs because they want to. Why would they want to? What causes this? As I simply said; the undeniable and immense feelings and emotions of pleasure and satisfaction. There are many things that we as humans do without looking at the underlying reason as to why. All too often we do things because we want to. Yet it is why we want to that is the problem. A man holds open a door for a woman. He did it because he wanted to. Although it's cute to say or think he did it out of selflessness to help another, there is almost always that underlying true reason of want. The want is to fulfill and give yourself, your id, that desired pleasure; that good feeling. If the man didn't get a nice feeling from being kind and courteous to the woman would he have opened the door? If it weren't for the possible chance to further a relationship or ignite one? If it wasn't for an enjoyable, no matter how small, feeling would he have been kind to the woman in that alternate reality? We try to kid ourselves most of the time, but quite often anything we "want" to do is for a bottom line, underlying pleasure, even the small stuff.

This has now served its purpose of leading me into my main topic of love. Most have a skewed, distorted and bland view of what love really is. Love does not necessarily mean mushy feelings or doing something, anything for that special someone. Most would look at a couple and the man who goes out of his way for his companion, or date I say even sacrifices something for her, as someone really sweet, loving and caring. But is he really? Yes, it hurts to think otherwise, because anything known or believe to be true by a person will certainly not be changed without causing a ruckus **cough* religion *cough**. Does the sweet boyfriend not act lovingly to his lover because it feels good? Does it not feel good to take care of and watch over someone you love? Does it not feel good to get them a gift? And see their reaction? Does it not feel good to kiss her on her forehead and hold her while listening to her needs? So how did we come to pat ourselves on the back for these deeds? For doing something that gives us pleasure? How is it that most actions performed by a loving man or woman towards their spouse are looked at as acts of kindness, love and sacrifice when almost always that underlying "what am I getting/feeling out of it" is there? Yes, that's right. I dared to make the comparison of throwing ones life away with drugs to that of being in love and being supportive towards your mate. So tell me, what is the difference? As far as I'm concerned, in how much of the fake world and society we live in views love, there is no difference. You take drugs to make yourself feel good. You hold and kiss your girlfriend because it feels good. It's as easy as connecting the dots.

So here it is folks. My main point. Real love...true love, is not simply doing all the mushy, lubby dubby nice things when there's something in it for you. That something being pleasure, whether it is small from performing an act of kindness, or more "significant" via making a sacrifice. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that's right. Real, true love is simply this. Doing something for another when you are void of receiving any pleasure whatsoever. That is true love. When you can do something that you don't want to do or have no positive bias or reason to do and do so without hesitation. That is real love. I can only hope that whoever is reading this, if anybody, that you have or one day will experience this kind of love. Real love, unconditional love, to me at least, is the most desirable thing to be attained, to have and to give, as a human being. Bar none.

maggiesxrevenge · 03-10-2008, 04:33 AM

Well said. I must say that I agree and at one time I fell into that category where I felt love was because of the mushy feelings and the sweet things he did. It is not that but you are right its the unconditional love and just doing something because it feels good. Everything you said is true.

:-)

NachtEngel · 03-10-2008, 07:00 AM

I see what you are saying but I don't completely agree with the way it was put. First of all, love is a human idea and therefore the only person that can truly say when it is "love" is the person experiencing it. There is really no clear definition on the rules of what creates the feeling that results in the thought "this is love". I'm not saying you're wrong though about love. To your personal definition you are completely correct. Just like anyone else who has a different understanding is correct. I also disagree with saying that when you can do things that don't give you pleasure it's love. It may not happen all the time but sometimes people do things for people they are just friends with that don't give them pleasure. If you think I'm wrong about that then I must just be completely weird.

I don't really understand why you compared it to drugs. You are comparing something that some people do as an act of desperation to escape reality and maybe even wish not to wake up in the morning to some peoples perception of love. Whats the difference you ask? People don't overdose on love, people don't die from love, people don't have withdraw from love (yes, there is emotional pain but thats not what I mean).

I also don't think that doing something you don't want to do is always a sign of love. There are reasons people may do things like that besides receiving pleasure. It can also be a sign that someone feels inferior to a person. Maybe they feel that they must do something even if it goes against their better judgment.

I also think it would be normal to often get pleasure doing something for someone you love. Wouldn't it make you happy to see that person happy? I don't see what the problem is and why it should be compared to drugs. Thats like saying if we don't want to be a bunch of drug addicts we should not be nice to people anymore because it makes up happy. Would it be better if we were all inconsiderate and selfish except for when it come to people we have unconditional love for? Should we not open the door and feel bad later because we don't deserve pleasure? There is a reason it gives you pleasure. If the mind didn't send the feeling of pleasure nobody would be kind to anyone they didn't have "unconditional love for."

Sorry I went on such a long rant, thats just my opinion.

Keena · 03-10-2008, 07:47 AM

I'm going to have to agree with nacht that i see what you're saying but can't bring myself to believe it.

I agree though that people can be addicted to love in a similar way as drug addicts.

But there's an underlying reason for everything we do. So I can't agree with your whole 'doing something for no reason is true love, and doing stuff that will give yourself pleasure is not' thing. Everything you do for that person can give you pleasure or prevent unhappiness in some way, even if it's only you doing something to avoid having an argument. If making them happy makes you happy, then anything good you do for them is also bringing you pleasure; I don't really understand your idea of doing something for them that has no positive effects for you.

I also have to agree with nacht that the definition of love varies from person to person. So I suppose your idea is a valid one, even if I don't necessarily agree with it.

Estefanina · 03-10-2008, 10:13 AM

"love is like oxygen, you get too much you get too high... not enough and you're gonna die... love gets you high"-ELO

Pretty prose, Jump. I like it.

JumpInTheFire · 03-10-2008, 03:41 PM

thanks for your responses everyone

@nachtengel

I understand where you're coming from and what you're saying,
however its kinda my fault for having you think a certain way about what I was writing

Yes, drugs destroy and so on, but that is again a persons own choice. just like how fat they become, what religion they choose to believe, etc.

I wasn't saying that love can destroy a life like drugs (although it can), what i was merely doing was saying that people can take drugs for the same reason they want to be in love... for the pleasure and the good feelings.

As for not doing something you dont want to do being a sign of love,
i also agree with you

again im sorry if i made it seem like that,
if i did something for some random person that i dont know that i didnt want to do, thats not love, thats just doing the right thing. So yes i should've written that more clearly

Zen · 03-13-2008, 02:55 PM

"Real love, unconditional love, to me at least, is the most desirable thing to be attained, to have and to give, as a human being. Bar none."

True Love,

Is the highest honor and blessing of life...

When attained, all things are Love and Love is all things...

From the lowest depths to the highest planes, all things are love..
From the "mushy cuddly" charms, to the sacrifice of arms...

There is no duality to love,

Once True and false, arrives at time and place

And love is Love

Drugs are only a pale falsely induced "high," in someone who is starving of spirit...

Though when drugs are used with Love,
That's when the magic happens...