some "army wife" poetry

sca · #1 (**permalink**) 04-13-2008, 04:26 PM

I'm 17, so I do mean quote-unquote on the army wife.

Any feedback much appreciated. (I'm looking at reshaping the last one after someone reccomended I make it circular... like a bead

).

Quote:

Febuary 15

I'm so scared my Valentine,
of being left behind;

To watch my man, a soldier, leave
with hopes I'm on his mind -
I'll miss this month for what it's worth
in years he's yet to give;

I only hope, for what it's worth,
they'll let us nights to live -
and pray I'll not a soldier grieve
in years not yet gone by;

We're so young my Valentine,
what's yet to tell is time.

Anticipation

The nights burn
with an appetite for your touch
as days breathe thoughts that beg for lust
to consume all love in a moment’s pass
when tomorrow yields you home
at last.

{Come} October

I can still feel yesterday coursing through me with every breath;
{lips to forehead as my breasts rose and fell against your neck,
my heart beating as yours slowed, fingertips tracing a crew cut head,
minutes forgetting the hour as you slept}; in love, and missing you.

My Necklace

When I close my eyes
orange beads from our Savers trip
are often wet between my lips
as my tongue so slightly slips
and twists around you.

=> Jess

SenzaSerenade · 04-22-2008, 10:39 AM

Jess, you are extremely talented, especially considering you haven't had any kind of formal lessons. Again, your knack of using imagery is breathtaking. Job well done!

Jackie1127 · 04-22-2008, 10:59 AM

Wow. You are really talented. It was really touching to read, considering my boyfriend is in basic training right now with the National Guard.

**Ristaron** · 04-26-2008, 12:07 AM

I very much like the first one and the last one. You should really consider getting the first one published, if it has the same effect on everyone as it did on me (a heartwrenching chill) it could be huge.

You are very talented, I am envious!

sca · 04-27-2008, 06:31 AM

@Jackie1127 - effectively my boyfriend is only in training as well (as he's only just turned 18, so he's still a reservist at the moment), and I wrote the first one the day he left for a month long training course (as opposed to "real" deployment)... but it's almost knowing what all that training is leading to which grips you, yeah?
I hope to god we're cut out for the time we'll be forced to spend apart - especially with how unsupportive the military is of married couples let alone "not yet defactos"... but we aren't there yet to know.

Anywho, the thing that helps is not being the only one in my situation.

@Ristaron - Febuary 15 is my favourite. I think it might be so powerful because of how strongly I felt at the time, having just seen him the day before and knowing he wouldn't be back until March 16... and that I wouldn't be able to see him until March 18 or 19... (and because of all the emotions attached to my reply to Jackie) - and I wrote it straight out, completely honestly.

+ Hmm, publishing isn't something that really motivates me, so I wouldn't even know the first step in where to look to get what-ever done. Although I have to admit, if there were the opportunity, Feb15 would be the poem I'd put forward.

Thanks for all the response guys, I just haven't been on much because I'm trying to cut down on the procrastination and build up the amount of school work I'm getting done

.

(And as you can see I'm incapable of short posts).

=> Jess