|
Chad: Follow or Die
 |
04-27-2008, 07:01 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Dear Ex-Wife, Dear Ex-Husband
Dear wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me oryou don't love me anymore; whatever! the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Dear Ex-Husband Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & ; I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem. 
|
|
04-27-2008, 07:24 AM
|
#2 (permalink) | |
 
Posts: 14,336
|
__________________
"Everyone is stupid except me." Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
04-27-2008, 11:28 AM
|
#5 (permalink) | ||
Posts: 4,146
Age: 22
|
Quote:
__________________
 Formerly known as El Subestimado Mi ma'i, mi amor de mi vida: SpicedSugar Mis hijos: Butterfingered (missing) Mi hermanita: Dancesintheran, my brother-in-law: Edge_Of_Insanity Mi Primita: Keena Quote:
|
||
   |
|
|
04-27-2008, 01:06 PM
|
#7 (permalink) | |
Posts: 7,409
Age: 20
|
mmm carl
__________________
 I hate 'literature'... I'd much rather read a good book. Click here for a Guide To BeastToast! Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
04-27-2008, 01:30 PM
|
#9 (permalink) | ||
|
Posts: 4,146
Age: 22
|
Quote:
__________________
Formerly known as El Subestimado Mi ma'i, mi amor de mi vida: SpicedSugar Mis hijos: Butterfingered (missing) Mi hermanita: Dancesintheran, my brother-in-law: Edge_Of_Insanity Mi Primita: Keena Quote:
|
||
|
|
|
Linear Mode
