Exactly how I feel about 'anti-religious' movies...

**SARS-expl0ted** · #1 (**permalink**) 12-18-2007, 01:14 PM

In case the hordes of pagans participating in blood orgies on your front lawn didn't tip you off, the movie "The Golden Compass" was recently released and has subsequently converted the world's population into godless heathens. My mahjong group and I needed no converting, but I digress.

This isn't the first time a film has brought religion to its knees. [Altar boy pun not found] It was only a year ago when "The Da Vinci Code" was released and everyone became either a self-flagellating albino or a douche with a queer haircut. Organized religion was in ruins. Never mind that at roughly the same time it was highly publicized that the church was little more than NAMBLA with fancy outfits. No, this movie was the black eye for Catholicism.

And who could forget the sorcery epidemic that swept over the land as the Harry Potter movies were rolled out annually? That happened, right? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I assumed the planet had been overrun by delightful English children performing magic since the Vatican suggested it would happen. I wouldn't know because I've stayed in my house ever since for fear of being caught in the middle of a wizard duel.

But enough tiptoeing around the issue, Hollywood. You want to destroy religion and we all know it. The less money people spend on tithing and Bible wax, the more they have to spend on shitty...I mean spectacular cinema. We all know what you're up to, so enough of this stirring up faux-controversy bullshit. We'll respect you more if you jump the shark and come right out and say what you mean. Below are some suggested film titles.

"97 Minutes of George Clooney Pooping on the Bible"

"Nuns Making Out and Adopting Babies"

"Fuck Jesus"

"Gavin the Goat Cums in Mohammed's Mouth" (animated)

"How Many Torahs Can We Burn in an Hour?"

"Pastor Vs. Rabbi: Who Can Felch Longer?"

"The Pope Clones/Rapes Self"

Michael Moore presents "The Rock & Roll, Violent Video Games, Empowered Women, Gay Marriage and Abortion Festival" (documentary)

"The Olsen Twins Queefing in Baptism Water"

"Devout Jews Teabagging Each Other"

"The Jew/Muslim/Christian Circle-Jerk"

"You Call That a Church-Burning?"

"Fuck Jesus II" (Because we have to find out what happened to that midget)

There you go, Tinseltown. Produce any of those movies and I'm sure you'll finally succeed in putting your competition (decency/shame/hymnals) out of business. Because books and movies aren't simply a couple hours of escape. They define who we are. That's why there have been so many pirate attacks in the past few years. And why after Norbit hit theaters everyone became black and not funny.

But all kidding aside, you'd have to be the biggest fucking asshole on the planet to sincerely believe that entertainment can cause a society to collapse. Every year another movie is supposed to destroy religion and every year religion is still around and that shitty movie made more money than it should have because all that false indignation did nothing more than advertise for it. On a related note, the Pope has called for a boycott of licking my pussy. Fight the power, kids.

**Arcángel** · 12-18-2007, 01:27 PM

People destroy religion just fine the way I see it. Hollywood, if anything, it doing a really good job in helping out.

But, with all the shit that's going on in catholicism today, I would figure that catholicism really doesn't need much help in terms of a black eye. We'll leave that to the priests.

And just in case anyone is wondering while they read this, yes, I believe in God, no, I don't believe in denominations or these separations and no, I don't find Blassa's opinions offensive at all. In fact, they're pretty friggin hilarious LMAO!!!

NachtEngel · 12-18-2007, 01:32 PM

I don't even see how people find most of these movies ant-religious. I saw The Golden Compass a couple days ago and it was just a fantasy movie. It had little if anything to do with religion. I was disappointed because I expected something more controversial after hearing people make a big deal out of it.

the-man-of-honestly · 12-18-2007, 01:36 PM

Look im all for freedom of religious But what right do this loser have to tell me that my faith is stuipd and that people that believe in it a dumbass and then expect us not to fight back

NachtEngel · 12-18-2007, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the-man-of-honestly

Look im all for freedom of religious But what right do this loser have to tell me that my faith is stuipd and that people that believe in it a dumbass and then expect us not to fight back

What are you talking about?

Who said that?

**Arcángel** · 12-18-2007, 01:38 PM

I saw nothing there that specifically attacked anyone's faith.

**SARS-expl0ted** · 12-18-2007, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the-man-of-honestly

Look im all for freedom of religious But what right do this loser have to tell me that my faith is stuipd and that people that believe in it a dumbass and then expect us not to fight back

I can barely understand what the hell you are saying.