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Rist has it right in my opinion. What she is saying is the same as if your local... grocery bagger, whatever... refuses to bag groceries for black people. If someone wants to be a bigot or a racist, fine. If Jim Bob doesn't want to bag groceries for African Americans he has the right to find another job...
It's not my place to say whether someone else's marriage is illegitimate or valid. Nor is it anyone else's that is not directly involved. In the words of George Carlin. "If you don't like gay weddings.. DON'T HAVE A GAY WEDDING!"
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"Be the change you wish to see in The World"
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