Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaStone
Perhaps you could give the child both names.
The child is still his, despite him being a douche.
However, don't give the child just his name. You're raising the child so the child should have your name.
When you get married to someone who's undouche-like then you can give the child the new daddy's name.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaStone
The grandparents are still family.
I've lived my whole life with my father, the weeks or short months I spent consecutively with my mother were crap. However, when my father and I had a fallout, it was my mom's parents who took me in. They've paid for my medical bills, my college, my food, and my clothes. They're more family than my mother ever was.
Family is important. If she plays her cards right and doesn't shut them out, the child's grandparents could be like a second family for her and her baby.
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I find myself agreeing with Seastone. I don't think it would be right to alienate the grandparents just because the guy is like that. Especially if they genuinely seem interested in the child and you. I'm very thankful for the support both my maternal and paternal have given me through my life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kalia
Also by sitting his parents own and discussing/explaining things it will make them feel more involved in the decision and hence less likely to resent you/get upset that it doesnt have their name
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I think this is a good idea. If they are willing to be involved in the child's life it would show your willingness to include them by keeping them in the loop.
I grew up without a father as well. I think that it is extremely important to have a father figure in a child's life. Don't make yourself unhappy though. When my mother was raising us by herself I was a lot happier when I was younger even though now I know how hard it was for her. When she started getting boyfriends though, things got bad for a while. They either thought they were entitled to control how we lived our lives or they didn't treat my mother right. Or both.
Since the father defaulted his place in the child's life all decisions regarding it depend on you. Don't let anyone else control how you decide to raise your child. Not to say you shouldn't take advice or anything like that. Just don't ever do anything that you feel is not in it's best interest.
Congratulations, and good luck!
