Topic: It's Duples
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Old 04-11-2008, 09:17 AM   #1 (permalink)
w8_4_the_moonrise
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It's Duples

<Another poem for class which desperately needs some constructive criticism. Please?>

It's Duples

Here it comes,
the moment
where we lock
eyes and kiss
cue sex scene

Whumph
Ow.

Whumph
Ow.

Whumph
Ow.

“That's 'ow' honey
not 'ooh' or any
variation of it”

Turn around.
not really
enough room...
leg goes where?

oh there we go
got the rhythm
its duples. duh.

connection
skin sinks in
thousands of
chemicals
rise with us
rushing to
meet each other
to explode
at the touch

our potential kinetic energy
activates
pulsing
an attempt to peer at heaven

with atheistic eyes
__________________
You are aesthetically pleasing,
the reason for which I first noticed in you.
And later I found your personality equally pleasing.
I also noted your chest to waist ratio is suitable for birthing.
Therefore, I think you should live in my house.
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